


KPFantasy: A Showcase

by sittscho



Series: Showcases [2]
Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Action, Adventure, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, KPFantasy, Romance, Showcase, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-31 02:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13964976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sittscho/pseuds/sittscho
Summary: Introducing KPFantasy, a fantasy-themed universe based onKim Possible.Follow Kim, Shego, and their friends (or barely tolerated acquaintances) as they travel the world fighting magical beasts, hunting for mysterious treasures, and thwarting the evil schemes of a rogues’ gallery of quirky villains or just deal with everyday life in between.Unexpected Party FavorsIt’s party time at Monique’s and everybody who is anybody is invited! To Kim, it’s a chance to relax and reconnect with her friends after months of adventures on the road. To Shego, it’s an annoyance she is willing to put up with for her princess’s sake (and an open bar). Unfortunately, a teenage heroine’s work is never done…Revision 4 (2018-09-30)Update summaryUpdate referencesUpdate story index





	1. Front Matter

Introducing KPFantasy, a fantasy-themed universe based on _Kim Possible._ Follow Kim, Shego, and their friends (or barely tolerated acquaintances) as they travel the world fighting magical beasts, hunting for mysterious treasures, and thwarting the evil schemes of a rogues’ gallery of quirky villains or just deal with everyday life in between. 

_KPFantasy: A Showcase_ is set in the KPFantasy universe, which is based on Disney’s _Kim Possible._ Video game series like _Final Fantasy,_ _The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky,_ and _Valkyria Chronicles_ provided additional inspiration in creating a world of magic, adventure, and fantastical technology. 

Over the course of this compilation of short stories, the following characters 

  * Kim Possible
  * Shego
  * Ron Stoppable
  * Yori
  * Bonnie Rockwaller



and pairings 

  * Kim Possible/Shego (Kigo)
  * Ron Stoppable/Yori



will be featured, among others. 

As always, the material presented aims to stay true to the original while leaning toward the mundane and the lighthearted. Do not expect dark themes, heavy drama, or soap-operatic love triangles to run rampant. 

###  Story Index 

####  Unexpected Party Favors 

It’s party time at Monique’s and everybody who is anybody is invited! To Kim, it’s a chance to relax and reconnect with her friends after months of adventures on the road. To Shego, it’s an annoyance she is willing to put up with for her princess’s sake (and an open bar). Unfortunately, a teenage heroine’s work is never done… 

###  About the _Showcase_ Series 

The _Showcase_ series is meant to be a tool that allows the author to explore story ideas and concepts as they are being worked on without having to worry about lasting consequences or long-term commitments. At the same time, it gives the reader the chance to provide feedback during the formative stages of the creative process. 

It is presented as a collection of short stories that live in the same general universe, albeit not necessarily in the same continuity, as each other and offers a glimpse at what might be expected from the finished product should it be picked up. 

###  See Also 

####  Fan Works 

#####  _Honor Bound_ by StarvingLunatic 

A _Kim Possible_ series set in a world based on feudal Japan, and the story that inspired the original short story the KPFantasy universe was based on by raising the question of what might have been if Shego had been more than just a mutant. 

  * [_Honor Bound_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5001259)
  * [_Honor Bound: Tea Time_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5470475)



#####  _Walking the Line_ by StarvingLunatic 

One of the weirder premises out there, and a series not without its problems. Its depiction of Shego’s foul-mouthed and violent temperament as well as some unexpected childhood entanglements have been instrumental in developing Shego’s character for KPFantasy. 

  * [_Walking the Line_ (series)](https://archiveofourown.org/series/121287)



####  Official Works 

#####  _Kim Possible_ by Disney 

  * [_Kim Possible_](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Possible)



#####  _The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky_ by Falcom 

_Trails in the Sky_ provided many of the basic concepts that shaped the setting of KPFantasy. It is also one of the most amazing—and most horribly underappreciated—series of JRPGs out there. 

  * [_The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky_](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Trails_in_the_Sky_\(series\))



#####  _Valkyria Chronicles_ by Sega 

The WWII-inspired fusion of magic and technology presented in _Valkyria Chronicles_ provided a general idea of the vibe the world of KPFantasy is aiming for (with more of a twist toward the era of the Great War), and the valkyrias provided some pointers on how Shego and her abilities might develop. 

  * [_Valkyria Chronicles_](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Valkyria_Chronicles)



#####  _Final Fantasy_ by Square Enix 

The universe of KPFantasy draws some inspiration from games like _Final Fantasy VI, IX, and XII_ in order to create a blend of sword, sorcery, and technology. 

  * [_Final Fantasy_](https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy)



###  Contact Information 

New releases, updates, and revisions can be obtained _free of charge_ via 

  * [Archive of Our Own](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sittscho)
  * [FanFiction](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/6326698)



Status updates, progress reports, release notifications, behind-the-scenes information, and the odd request for contributions can be found on 

  * [Tumblr (sittschowrites)](https://sittschowrites.tumblr.com)
  * [Twitter (sittschowrites)](https://twitter.com/sittschowrites)



The author can be reached directly via 

  * [Twitter (sittscho)](https://twitter.com/sittscho)



Feel free to drop by, comment, review, and spread the word should you find yourself with some spare time to waste. 

###  Revision History 

####  Revision 4 (2018-09-30) 

  * Update summary
  * Update references
  * Update story index



####  Revision 3 (2018-03-17) 

  * Add final part of story _Unexpected Party Favors_
  * Update reference links



####  Revision 2 (2018-03-13) 

  * Re-release as _KPFantasy: A Showcase_
  * Add first part of story _Unexpected Party Favors_
  * Remove general description of the setting and characters
  * Revise front matter



####  Revision 1 (2017-10-04) 

  * Release as _Showcase: KPFantasy_
  * Add general description of the setting and characters



###  Disclaimer 

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, plots, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. 

All original material is licensed under [CC BY-NC-SA 4.0](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0). 

Rated [T](https://www.fictionratings.com). 

Reader discretion is advised. 


	2. Unexpected Party Favors (Part One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s party time at Monique’s and everybody who is anybody is invited! To Kim, it’s a chance to relax and reconnect with her friends after months of adventures on the road. To Shego, it’s an annoyance she is willing to put up with for her princess’s sake (and an open bar). Unfortunately, a teenage heroine’s work is never done… 

“I still can’t believe that I let you talk me into going to a party crawling with your little friends.” 

“You better believe it, ’cause I totally did.” 

Ann could hear her daughter fall into a well worn argument with her girlfriend? Lover? 

Whichever the correct term might have been, using it in connection with her little girl still felt odd. It wasn’t so much Kim’s peculiar choice in her partner that she had trouble wrapping her head around—not that accepting that peculiar detail had been easy—but the ease with which they interacted with each other. Prior to disappearing for several months on some dangerous quest or another, all Ann had ever witnessed had been childish crushes that had turned her daughter into a nervous mess, leaving her barely able to form a coherent sentence at the best of times. 

Naturally, they hadn’t amounted to much, but things seemed to have improved while Kim had been away from home. She displayed a level of self-confidence and maturity around Shego that Ann had come to expect from her daughter in many other aspects of life, and not for the first time since she had returned from her journey, she felt conflicted about her daughter’s growth. She was glad that the inevitable had finally come to pass, but at the same time, she felt cheated out of watching some of the last and very important steps of her little girl’s journey to adulthood. 

With a sigh, she went back to her task. It wasn’t the time to ponder the trials and tribulations of child rearing but those of her daughter’s messy streak. Finding a pair of shoes inside of a walk-in closet should not be an exercise in futility. Even looking for a very specific pair shouldn’t feel like a never-ending task with little chance of success. 

At some point growing up, Kim seemed to have come under the impression that cleaning up and stuffing everything that wasn’t nailed down into her closet were interchangeable solutions to a common problem. Clearly, there were some steps still to be taken. 

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” 

Ann couldn’t help a quiet chuckle when she heard her daughter’s characteristic groan. Ever since Kim’s teenage years had begun, it had been one of her favorite ways of expressing herself, and it felt good not to be on the receiving end for once. 

“We have been over this, like, five times already.” 

“Well, excuse me for being worried about you not seeing the bigger picture here. Things won’t be like they are when we’re out and about where we can just move on whenever shit hits the fan.” 

“Language.” 

“Whatever, princess. Just saying, you’re about to drop one hell of a doozy right onto your front porch, and your lot isn’t exactly known for its welcoming and open-minded attitude.” 

“My lot?” 

And there was the eyebrow raised in challenge. After years of experience, Ann could actually hear it in her daughter’s voice without seeing it. 

“Stuffed shirts and fancy-pants nobles.” 

“One, there won’t only be nobles at the party. Two, it’s not a formal party, so nobody can complain about the lack of shirt stuffing. And three, most of ‘my lot’ already think I’m weird at the best of days. It’s not like I’ve got much to lose.” 

Ann knocked over a small pile of boxes by accident only to have the pair of shoes she had been looking for land right at her feet. And just in time too, if the seductive shift in her daughter’s voice was anything to go by. 

“And even if I had, I couldn’t care less.” 

“Oh really?” 

“Really, really.” 

By the time she had straightened herself out and left the closet, Ann found Shego leaning against Kim’s desk, being kissed rather aggressively. It wasn’t the first time the two of them had forgotten themselves in company, and it was most definitely another point on the list things Ann had not yet fully gotten used to, especially when her little girl was taking the initiative. 

“That’s enough, you two. I know how long that sort of thing can go on, and you’re already pushing the limits of being fashionably late.” 

Unlike the first time Ann had caught them in the act, which had resulted in a panicked shriek and a barely comprehensible attempt at explaining herself, Kim only uttered a weak protest while she snuggled into the crook of the taller woman’s neck. She was still blushing like a tomato, but she seemed to have gotten used to showing affection in front of other people—more or less. 

The more surprising and, frankly, baffling part of the display was Shego’s reaction. Her hands were no longer dangerously close to places a mother would rather not see their daughter getting touched in but had drawn back to wrap Kim in a gentle embrace as she welcomed her affections. 

It wasn’t that her daughter had fallen for a woman that had been troubling Ann—it would complicate her quest for grandchildren, but she hadn’t dedicated her life to the healing arts without having picked up a trick or two—or even that the woman Kim had chosen wasn’t human, but rather how far removed from being human she may or may not be. 

Ann had seen them train together. She had seen the superhuman strength contained within the long limbs wrapped around her daughter, and she had seen the destruction the claws resting within inches of any number vital organs could cause. Daemon, half-daemon, or whatever else she might claim to be, she was not docile or harmless. Not by a long shot. She was built to be a predator. A predator whose bare hands could tear apart a human like a wet paper towel. 

Kim showed not a shred of worry or fear about that fact. On the contrary, Ann had rarely ever seen her daughter as relaxed and at ease as she seemed to be wrapped in Shego’s embrace, and rightfully so if the adoring look on the older woman’s face was anything to go by. It wasn’t her daughter that was in mortal danger from the daemon but rather anyone who would dare to try and get in between them. 

Ann shook her head. It was far from an ideal situation, but it was infinitely preferable to her daughter being on the menu. Literally. She was not ready yet to even consider acknowledging the more figurative interpretations the outspokenly explicit daemon would come up with for that thought. 

“If you ruin your hair or makeup, I’m not going to fix it for you again.” 

Kim groaned, but she finally untangled herself from Shego and walked over to the standing mirror to smooth out some wrinkles in her dress and brush a loose strand of hair over her ear. 

“There you go,” Ann said as she handed her the blue pumps that were a perfect fit for Kim’s choice of dress. 

She slipped them on and did a quick twirl in front of the mirror before she turned to Ann with a smile. “How do I look?” 

Between the subtle makeup applied to highlight her large olive-green eyes, the gentle waves they had somehow managed to coax into her fiery mane, and the simple but finely-made peasant dress that managed to draw the eye to her slim frame while hiding that cute bubble butt she was so very self-conscious about, what was standing in front of Ann was not the little tomboy that had caused her many a sleepless night but a blossoming young woman. 

Granted, her newest acquisition, a green-and-black shawl, similar to but less eclectic and frayed than Shego’s harlequin shawl, did clash with Kim’s usual color palette, but she seemed adamant about her promise to make it as much of a fixture in her wardrobe as Shego had made hers. 

“Beautiful. And all grown up.” 

If the subtle blush at Ann’s comment undermined the picture somewhat, the deep crimson at Shego’s comment—which Ann decidedly refused to have heard—shattered it completely. No matter how grown up her daughter might appear to be standing all dressed-up next to her date, who was wearing her dress—a dark-green and rather sensual affair modeled after the dancing girls of the south—with absolute and unshakable confidence, her little girl was still in there. 

“Now stop making bedroom eyes at each other. You still have to pick up Ronald and his date, and if you don’t hurry you’ll miss the next train to the capital.” 

“Train? But Dad said we could take the car for a spin.” 

Ann rolled her eyes. James had indeed promised his daughter the use of the prototype car he had been working on. He had also promised to bring their twins along to work with him so they could give him a hand. And in a stroke of genius, he had scheduled both for the same day with very predictable results. 

“I don’t know about the details,” which wasn’t entirely a lie, “but something went wrong, and the car has become more of a piece of abstract art than a form of a transportation for the time being.” 

“Well, that blows. I’ve been looking forward to getting another shot at the whole driving thing.” 

“Don’t know about that, princess,” Shego said with a chuckle. “The world might just be a better place without you behind the wheel.” 

“I wasn’t that bad! And it was only my first time.” 

“Oh, I’ve heard that befo—” 

“Shego!” 

Kim had almost tackled her to the ground in an attempt to clamp her mouth shut. Not that Ann registered much the squabble that followed. She had squeezed her eyes shut and was in the process of taking a deep, deep breath. No, she definitely had not been ready for that mental picture, but she managed to regain her composure with a professional’s ease. After all, a doctor’s bedside manner would be severely lacking if they couldn’t keep their own emotions in check under pressure. 

“Right, that’s enough,” she said with a clap of her hands. “Out with you, and save your lover’s tiff for after you’ve boarded your train!” 

By the time Ann had managed to herd them downstairs and out through the front door, she wasn’t sure anymore if she had been watching an argument about to escalate or just the prelude to yet another heated make-out session. 

She sighed. It might as well have been both for all she could tell. The dynamic between her daughter and their special house guest was still very much a mystery to her, but it seemed to include a lot more bickering, teasing, and hand-to-hand combat than she would have expected based on her own experience in romance. 

At least with them out in public, they should be able to restrain themselves, right? 

* * *

With Ron, Yori, and Shego in tow, Kim made her way through the warehouse district bordering the large commercial port that had solidified the role of the City of Go, the capital of the Kingdom of Go, as one of the most important hubs for trade on the eastern seaboard. 

Unfortunately, the district was quite large, and they had to walk most of the way from the train station as public transportation in these parts of town was only in service during working hours. They could have taken a cab if the motorized variety hadn’t still been a rare and elusive luxury that never seemed to be available when needed or if they could go anywhere near close enough to a horse to climb on board of a carriage. 

Kim had come to love the effect Shego had on most of the less monstrous fauna one would encounter in the wild—her presence made for an amazing insect repellent—but it was not without its drawbacks. Technology was creeping into more and more corners of the world, but the good old horse was still the main mode of transportation for most people around, which had resulted in a lot of hiking during their travels together. 

Curiously enough, cats seemed to love Shego. Then again, they were famous for curling up anywhere warm and cozy—the very definition of what it felt like to merge into Shego’s embrace—and there was no denying that they shared a certain mindset of stubborn and lazy self-indulgence with the sassy daemon. Still, it never failed to amaze Kim how anything but the biggest and most aggressive predators seemed to give Shego a wide berth, while even the most scrawny alley cats could be found walking right up to her without a care in the world. 

Despite the inconvenience, nobody found it in themselves to complain about their evening stroll. Nobody but Ron that was, but even he seemed to have lost his usual enthusiasm for the exercise, no doubt thanks to the attention he was receiving from his not-girlfriend, Yori, who had shocked them all—including herself—by forgoing her ever-present practical attire and muted colors for a rather risqué dress in a deep crimson. The girl was attractive, all right, but when she actually tried, she could be stunningly gorgeous. All those years of grueling training for the sole purpose of hunting daemons seemed to have done wonders in shaping her body in all the right places. 

Of course, that made her look even more out of place next to Ron in his ill-fitting suit. His father had bought it for him for their graduation from high school claiming that he would grow into it by the next time he would need it, but he might have slightly overestimated just how much growing boys in their late teens had left to do. It seemed to fit better than the last time Kim had seen him wear it but nowhere near good enough to have escaped Shego’s sharp tongue. 

“Something wrong, pumpkin?” 

“No, everything’s fine.” 

Shego hummed. “The little hunter turned out to be one fine piece of tail, huh? Shame that she hasn’t yet figured out that she could do a lot better than that oblivious buffoon.” 

Kim pinned her with a hard glare. “Could she now?” 

“Oh, somebody’s getting jealous!” 

Before Kim could put some distance between them to make a point about how little she cared about being teased about certain subjects, Shego snaked her arm around her waist and drew her close. 

“Don’t worry about it, pumpkin,” she whispered into Kim’s ear. “There’s no way I would trade in your cute bubble butt.” 

Kim groaned, coaxing a snicker out of Shego. She hated every mention of that far-from-accurate detail about her physique. True, she was very athletic with a slender frame, which might make a certain part of her body look sort of big, but that didn’t make it so. It certainly wasn’t bubbly even if that might have been the case once—back when she still had her baby fat! Not that her mother ever had been able to grasp that distinction, and despite promises to never use a certain nickname among company, she had used it in front of Shego, the queen of snark, of all people! Was it any wonder that she had a bit of a complex about it? 

Kim’s silent argument with her absent mother was cut short when she felt Shego’s hand drift down from her waist to her backside, giving it a quick squeeze. She swatted it away but caught the arm with her own before Shego could completely disentangle herself. 

That was more like it. A warm summer night; their arms linked; a comfortable silence; just a quiet evening stroll between lovers. It was something they hadn’t often had the chance to enjoy while they had been on their journey, and it was something Kim had honestly not known to have been missing from her life before her relationship with Shego had moved past those awkward early days that had seemed to flip-flop between condescension, anger, and passion without warning or anything in between. 

She slid her hand down to interlace their fingers, a gesture that was readily accepted without hesitation or snide remarks. If Kim had to pick the one thing that had surprised her the most about the big bad daemon at her side, it would have been how much Shego had come to enjoy the simple, more innocent side of their intimacy ever since she had finally allowed for it to happen. 

Shego had never been a selfish lover—quite the opposite, at least in Kim’s experience—but things had certainly changed from those early encounters that had happened under the guise of nothing but another set of lessons offered to an inexperienced member of the guild by one of their elders—not a standard practice, of course, and one the both of them had kept secret from everyone around them, even Ron. Those “lessons” had been a life-changing experience, but they had also been cold and unfulfilling. A mechanical study, thrilling but lacking any lasting sense of satisfaction, at the end of which Kim had either left on her own account or found herself kicked out by her “tutor.” 

She had often wondered why she had gone along with it, why she had kept taking Shego up on her offer of simple companionship for the night. Growing up, Kim had considered herself to be quite serious about these matters. She had never considered herself to be the kind of person who would just spend a night with someone she wasn’t in love with. And it wasn’t like she had much of an excuse for her behavior either. Shego might have shamelessly dangled the carrot in front of her face, but that was all she had ever done. There was no pressure or force involved, just an open invitation, and the decision had always been Kim’s to make. 

That wasn’t entirely true, of course. There had been two exceptions: the night that had started it all—a simple case of lack of available rooms that had somehow gotten out of hand—and the night that had changed it all. The night in which Shego had unceremoniously declared their special student-teacher relationship over, which had caused a torrent of emotions unlike anything Kim had ever experienced before. Disbelieve, anger, hurt, fear, betrayal, desperation, a good measure of murderous intent, and an overwhelming desire to punch a certain someone in the face had waged a war for dominance. A war that had lost all of its momentum when Shego had closed the door without throwing her out of the room, led her to the bed, and embraced her. 

Kim had been too shocked and confused to raise any protest, even if she had wanted to. No more words had been spoken that night nor had it turned any more carnal than that simple embrace. The message was all the more clear for it. It had taken them a long time still to openly admit their feelings for each other after that night, but they had reached an unspoken agreement about their relationship. Neither of them had made any more attempts of booking separate rooms, of trying to hide behind arbitrary lessons, or even of trying to hide the fact that they had been spending their nights together in the first place. 

Kim glanced up to study the face of the woman she had fallen for in the light of the rising moon. As if alerted by a sixth sense, Shego acknowledged her with a gentle smile that was reserved for her and her alone. 

One day, she would have to sit Shego down and figure out what had prompted her change in attitude that fateful night. Kim suspected that they had both harbored feelings for each other long before they had admitted to it—implied or otherwise—which might just be all there had been to it. After all, Shego had never needed much of an excuse to follow her own desires, and the game they had been playing might simply have lost its appeal in comparison to keeping her lover close whenever possible. 

A shadow moving in the corner of her eyes caught Kim’s attention as she barely caught the tail of a coat disappearing in the dark. There were only three kinds of people to be found this time of the day in a place like this: private guards and mercenaries protecting the many merchant warehouses lining both sides of the street in lieu of any significant presence of the local law enforcement, beggars and vagrants taking shelter in abandoned or out-of-use warehouses, and criminals of all persuasions. Guards rarely skulked around in the dark, which left people in need of a proper shelter, and people in need of a properly secured shelter. 

During her early days with the guild, Kim had tried to make it her mission to clean up the city, but even for a Possible that had been one task that had proven impossible. For every homeless person she had relocated, another one had moved in to take over their spot, for every criminal she had apprehended, another one had crept out of the woodwork to take over their business, and for every gang she had dispersed, another one had been formed to take over their territory. 

It was an endless cycle that would need resources far beyond those of a single person to break. More importantly, it was a surefire way to piss of Shego. Oh, the big bad daemon liked to bitch and moan about those damn goody-goody jobs Kim liked to pick out and about how they didn’t pay nearly enough to make them worth her while, but that was how far it usually went. When it counted, Kim could always trust Shego to have her back even if she occasionally went a bit overboard. But running off to chase random two-bit gangsters—especially when they had plans for the evening—would inevitably result in a very displeased daemon. A very displeased daemon that could hold a grudge even with “her princess.” 

Their group rounded a corner, finally revealing their destination. Halfway down the street stood a well-lit warehouse with a small contingent of guards at every entrance. Carriages and the odd car lined the alleyways surrounding it. Well, at least those that were in view of the guards. A sensible precaution against enterprising thieves given that there were few places in the city more dangerous than the warehouse district after dark. 

For Monique, the location was simply too convenient not to make use of—she was allowed to use any of her family’s many warehouses at her leisure whenever they stood empty—and for her guests, the danger was as much of a draw as it might have been a deterrent. Most of the usual crowd, be it commoners caught in the daily grind or nobles hiding behind high walls and personal guards, lived rather safe and boring lives in the Kingdom of Go. While incidents surrounding Monique’s parties were rare, they had happened before, and the thrill of the journey breaking up the monotony of life alone was enough for many to attend. 

Of course, most people arrived accompanied by bodyguards or in larger groups, scaring off most criminals in the process. Kim and Ron, however, had never seen the need for any such precautions, which had made them a frequent target for aspiring robbers staking out the access routes to the venue. 

Their success had been limited, to say the least. 

A small part of Kim had hoped for a repeat incident. Sure, it would be an annoyance and endanger her mother’s hard work in making her presentable, but it would be worth it just to see the look on the faces of whoever might try to jump Shego or Yori. Neither the daemon nor the daemon hunter was in the habit of pulling their punches when provoked, and between Yori’s form-fitting dress and Shego’s more unusual traits well hidden by the darkness, they were dead ringers for two naive but well-off party girls on the way to have some fun on the wrong side of town. 

Unfortunately, they had arrived at the entrance without any incidents, and despite Kim’s earlier reassurances to her companion, butterflies had started to find their way into her stomach. This was it. She was about to walk into a room filled with the city’s youth from all walks of life to make one of the biggest statements a person could make about themselves. Once it was done, there was no taking it back. Gossip traveled fast and it would spread throughout the kingdom and beyond like a wildfire. And just to make it even more awkward, Kim was making said statement alongside someone whose filter was somewhat out of whack, someone who loved rubbing people the wrong way and causing a stir. Sure, Shego could be surprisingly mellow and well-behaved in private, but Kim had no doubt that her more outgoing self wouldn’t stay out of the driver’s seat for long. 

But that was one of the reasons she had been so adamant about coming to the party and about doing to together without any pretense. She had gotten used to acting open and carefree around Shego while they had been traveling all over the world together, and she was not going to stop doing so and hide who she was in her own home of all places. After the party, she would never again have to fend off random suitors she had absolutely no interest in, she would never again have to deal with the fallout of rejecting some arranged marriage her grandmother had apparently agreed to without asking anybody—as if her parents would ever have allowed that scheme to come to fruition—and she would never have to deal with Bonnie claiming that she was trying to steal one of her boyfriends of the week just because she had dared to look at them or mentioned their name in a random conversation. 

Okay, the last one might have been wishful thinking—it was Bonnie after all—but things could only get better, right? 

* * *

Upon passing the guards and crossing through the large portal at the front of the warehouse, the quiet of a working man’s district in the evening was replaced by upbeat music and the unintelligible mix of chatter caused by a large crowd gathered in a confined space. A live band—a mix of a good dozen or so string, percussion, and wind instruments—was entertaining a wide assortment of the kingdom’s youth on the dance floor towards the back while a small army of sharply dressed waiting staff was handing out drinks and snacks among the many tables scattered about. One of the near corners was walled off—most likely containing an improvised kitchen area. The bar and the tables close to it were filled with gruff looking men—and the odd woman—dressed in an eclectic mix of the many colors of the rich and the noble they had accompanied, while the larger bar on the opposing wall as well as the tables beyond a small buffer zone were in use by the regular guests. 

Monique was no snob—she herself was “only” a merchant’s daughter, a distinction many of the noble-born crowd liked to make even though her family’s textile empire probably held more money and influence than most noble houses could have claimed their own even in their heyday—but her parties still had a tendency to draw the rich and the influential more so than anyone else. 

Even so, Monique’s parties had always been infinitely preferable to the stuffy formal events Kim had been expected to attend on occasion. They had also been a more frequent occurrence, at least for any Possibles on the guest list. Invitations to the family from the more traditional noble houses had been dwindling ever since Kim’s parents had decided to follow their passions and take on “common” professions—as if there was anything wrong with being a doctor an engineer! 

Not that her family’s “questionable” reputation had put much of a dent into the unwanted attention Kim herself had been receiving ever since she had come of age. She had been young, healthy, and of noble birth, no matter how minor. She had ticked all the boxes of prime breeding stock for those who were looking to pair up their second or third sons in order to preserve the family line or for those who didn’t want to risk a looming power struggle with their in-laws by welcoming a more influential house into the fold. 

It hadn’t been until her association with Global Justice had become public knowledge that there had been a notable dip in the attention she had been receiving. Joining the guild had reduced her status to that of a hired hand, a mere servant, in the eyes of most. A side-effect she had not considered at the time, and one she had come to regret on occasion—there might have been a crush or two that had almost certainly shown her the cold shoulder because of it—but she couldn’t help but feel like she had been better off for it in the end. 

“Girlfriend! Fashionably late as always,” Monique, ever the hostess, said with a teasing smile as she popped up out of nowhere to pull Kim into a hug. 

“Yeah, someone kept complaining about having to wear a dress.” 

“Oh, don’t pin that on me, princess. _I_ had to wait for _you_ to get ready,” Shego said with a grumble. 

“Only because I ended up wasting most of my day trying to talk you into wearing something that would show that you have at least some understanding of the meaning of decency!” 

A snicker cut off the budding argument as Monique focused on Shego. “Seems like my little gamble paid off then. No hard feelings about your invitation ‘getting lost’ in the mail, I hope?” 

“Can’t say I noticed.” 

“Wait, you two know each other?” Kim asked. 

“Of course! Between your”—a mischievous grin graced Monique’s lips as her eyes dropped to where Kim was still holding on to Shego’s arm—“companion’s rather expensive taste and the guild contract she’s steered our way, she is easily one of our most valued customers.” 

“You could have told me,” Kim said with a tinge of hurt in her voice. Sometimes it felt like everyone had known of Shego before her. How had she managed to stay with the guild for years without ever crossing paths or at least hearing rumors about her anyway? And why had Monique, a veritable gossip queen, never mentioned her strangely alluring green-skinned customer to her so-called best female friend? 

“Please,” Monique said, rolling her eyes, “you’ve been gone for months, and Shego never was the type to just drop by and dish over tea, so when a little birdy told me that the big bad lone wolf was playing house rather than living it up in some seedy corner of town”—she put her hands on her hips with a smug expression—“I so knew your plus one wouldn’t disappoint!” 

There it was. Kim’s bravado was slowly faltering under the scrutiny of people she knew. It wasn’t quite the paralyzing, stomach-churning fear she had experienced right before facing her parents to introduce her shiny, new, and slightly daemonic first girlfriend, but if even Monique, who seemed to be already in the know, could make her feel anxious about the situation, she was not looking forward to dealing with some of the other people she would inevitably run into at the party. 

“Shame I can’t say the same about your choice of accessories,” Monique continued. “Green and black does not go with that dress. If you wanted to wear a shawl with it, I could have made you—” 

“No! I mean, it’s perfect the way it is,” Kim said, earning her an approving nod from Shego. 

“If you say so,” Monique said with a frown. 

Any further discussion was cut short when one of the servants tried to catch Monique’s eye. “Looks like I’m needed elsewhere. Go have fun! I’ll find you later.” 

With that, Monique was gone as quickly as she had appeared, leaving Kim to deal with Shego. “So how long have you know her?” 

Shego shrugged. “Who cares. We’re here to party, not to discuss your little friends. And I see an open bar that’s desperately calling for my attention.” 

“Don’t even think about it.” Kim tightened her grip on Shego’s arm. “You are not going to abandon me here to drink your way up and down the bar.” 

“What else would I do? There are no dice and no cards, and I can’t imagine a room full of rich brats turning into a fun little brawl anytime soon.” 

“Hah! Clearly, all those nights spent in some harbor dive have ruined your ability to have real fun,” Ron said, pointing towards the dance floor. 

“This is this dancing you have been speaking of, Ron-san?” Yori asked with a hint of wistfulness marring her usual stoic mask. 

“Pff! If you want to see real dancing, you need to see the Ronster in action, not those amateurs!” 

Kim rolled her eyes at the pose he had struck to underline his point, while mischief was dripping from Shego’s voice by the bucket. “Oh? How about the Ronster takes the little hunter for a spin?” 

The look of anticipation on Yori’s face stopped Kim from calling Shego out on her scheme. Instead, she gently elbowed her in the side to keep her from causing any more trouble and focused on Yori. “That’s a great idea! Believe me, if you want to mix it up on the dance floor, Monique’s parties are the place to be!” 

After another look towards the stage, Yori turned to Ron, bowing formally. “I would be most grateful if you could be my teacher, Ron-san.” 

Ron’s bravado was replaced by a bashful chuckle. “I suppose the Ron-man could teach you a thing or two.” 

With a quiet sigh, Kim let go of Shego. She had seen their awkward stalemates often enough to know that nothing would happen without a push in the right direction. Literally, in this case, as she sent them on their way toward the dance floor. 

“Finally, I thought they would never leave,” Shego said, watching them with an expectant smirk. 

“You’re planning on making fun of both of them, aren’t you?” 

“Me? Goading your little friends into making fools of themselves for my own amusement? You wound my fragile heart, cupcake.” 

“Yeah, right. And they are your friends too.” 

“Hardly. One is as useless as ever, the other still wants to kill me in my sleep. Well, I guess the little hunter isn’t so bad if you look past her infatuation with the buffoon.” 

So Yori’s worst flaw wasn’t that she considered Shego to be her sworn enemy but that she liked Ron? Kim shook her head. “Are you ever going to ease up on him?” 

“If he ever becomes useful and learns how to shut up, I’ll consider it.” Shego brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, the show is about to start and I’m still missing a drink.” 

“Not a chance.” Kim grabbed Shego’s hand and started dragging her toward the dance floor. 

“Princess, what the hell are doing?” 

“What does it look like? I’m going to make you dance with me before I lose you to the bar.” Or let my anxiety and worries get the better of me. 

Shego groaned in protest, but the fight she was putting up was nothing but show. Kim was under no illusions about the headstrong daemon in that regard. If Shego really didn’t want to do something, nothing short of the end of the world would change her mind. Fortunately, most of her posturing and complaining was but a way to preserve her reputation before “generously” giving in to her younger lover’s whims. 

* * *

There had been quite a few things Shego had not been looking forward to about their evening. Playing nice with a gaggle of annoying teenagers for her princess’s sake, enduring a drunk buffoon on the prowl without setting fire to him, and the lack of any real entertainment topped the list, but having to forgo a perfectly fine and open bar to shimmy around a glorified pile of waxed planks couldn’t have been far behind. 

It wasn’t like Shego was averse to exercise. She loved a good fight or a good heist. She had even indulged in some of the more extreme sports one could find throughout the world, but dancing had never really done it for her. Between the highly choreographed formal dances the upper crust pretended to enjoy and the annoying flailing of whatever random fad was the in-thing at the time with everyone else, she just couldn’t be bothered. 

Seeing the determined look on Kim’s face though, Shego found herself unwilling to put a stop to her abduction. No matter what she might think about it all, this evening was important to her princess, and she would not add to her worries by fighting her over something so trivial. 

Just before they could reach their destination, the upbeat song the band had been playing petered out, which brought Kim to a stop. For a moment, hope had started to rise within Shego, but it was short-lived. Only the more obnoxious part of the band had stepped down from the stage. The left-over string section broke into a slow, rather romantic piece. 

Kim was eyeing the dance floor with a worried frown as several couples drew closer to each other and started swaying to the ebb and flow of the music, but she made no move to join them. 

Shego was starting to get fed up with it all. She had put far more effort than she liked into trying to make sure that her princess understood what she was in for by bringing her to the party. She had spent the entire afternoon arguing the fucking point! And she had been shot down at every turn. She had gotten a dress, endured hours of styling tips and makeovers, taken a train into the heart of the old cyclops’s domain—risking never-ending meetings and mountains of paperwork should her presence be noted—hiked through half the city in shoes that had not been designed to do so, and agreed to spend a perfectly fine evening, which she could have spent sampling the Possible’s surprisingly well-stocked wine cellar while lazing about on their patio, surrounded by what she was sure would turn out to be some of the most annoying people in the kingdom. 

Well, tough luck, princess! You bloody well brought this on yourself! 

Shego grabbed Kim’s wrist just as the younger girl was loosening her own grip and jerked her along for the last few feet toward the dance floor. Not giving her the chance to complain, she spun her around and drew her into her arms. A quick yelp was the only evidence that Kim had been caught off guard before she transitioned into a flawless but overly formal stance. Shego wasn’t having any of it. They weren’t attending some ridiculous masquerade ball at the palace but a warehouse party at the docks. She pulled their raised hands down a bit and snaked the arm holding on to Kim’s waist toward the small of her back. As expected, her dance partner relaxed, allowing her to close the gap between them. 

Dancing might not have been Shego’s thing, but she could work with this. Hell, there was something to be said about any form of close contact with her princess, and if she had to sway around a bit to some music to get there, she might as well be a good sport. 

After a handful of exploratory steps, they had found their rhythm with Shego firmly in the lead and started to float over the dance floor like consummate professionals. It didn’t seem to matter if they found themselves facing mortal perils, locked in a heated sparring match, an even more heated embrace, or on a dance floor, their intuitive understanding of each other seemed to carry them throughout it all. 

Shego, much to her own surprise, didn’t mind the experience as much as she had thought she would. She closed her eyes, allowing her remaining senses to provide what little guidance she needed to avoid bumping into the other couples on the dance floor, and let herself get swept away just enjoying the moment. 

Too soon for her own taste, the distinct feeling of a pair of eyes boring into her brought her out of her reverie. Looking at her dance partner, Shego found herself confronted by a pair of wide olive eyes. “Something wrong, pumpkin?” 

Kim blinked a couple of times, almost as if she had just been woken from a trance, and shook her head. “No, just surprised. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone dancing in the places you usually drag us to for the evening. Not with their clothes on at least.” 

Shego hummed. “They grow up so fast. One day, they break out in a cold sweat just thinking about touching you, the next they ask you to strip for them in front of all their little friends.” 

“What? No!” 

“So you don’t want me to show you some of my more exotic dance moves?” 

“No! Well, yes. Later, when we’re alone,” Kim said with a blush creeping up on her. “And I know what you’re trying to do, so stop deflecting.” 

Shego laughed. “It’s not an interesting story. I’m a thief—” 

Kim’s eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare. The mention of her “former” profession never failed to draw her princess’s ire much to Shego’s amusement. 

“Look at me. Even if you ignore the green skin, the claws, the fangs, and the radiant glow, people notice me. I’m the very definition of hot in every sense of the word,” she said, waggling her eyebrows. 

Kim rolled her eyes at her, but Shego was not deterred. “The deck is already stacked against me. I can’t afford to give people even more reasons to remember me when I’m out and about to help myself to their most precious possessions, and making a Ron of myself on the dance floor sure would do the trick, wouldn’t you say?” 

“Why can you only use his name when you’re insulting him? You know what, don’t answer that,” Kim said, cutting off Shego’s chance to get another jab in. “I don’t believe you. You don’t like people, and you have far too much fun sneaking around in the dark to bother with socializing as a way to take what you’re after.” 

“Not entirely true, pumpkin.” As if on cue the band shifted into a slow ballad. Shego let go of Kim’s hand and wrapped both her arms around her waist, while Kim snaked hers around Shego’s neck. What little space there had been left between them had vanished, and Shego moved her head to the side to whisper directly into Kim’s ear, “after all, I have taken my ultimate prize without ever breaking into her parents’ house.” 

The hold around her neck tightened for just a second, and for the first time since they had started dancing, Kim had missed a step. Well, not missed as such. Kim was far too graceful to stumble and fall over like some unnamed blond clot even when caught off guard, but there was that one off step that might have cost them a fraction or two of a point had they been dancing in a competition. 

They recovered with ease, each resting their head against the others shoulder, and immersed themselves in the moment. 

Shego had hoped that she had gotten out of answering the question, but, ever the bloodhound, her princess just couldn’t let it rest. 

“So what’s the real reason why you know how to dance?” 

“Told you, it’s a boring story that would only ruin the mystery.” 

They swayed a couple more times before Kim sighed and lifted her head. Their eyes locked, and, much to Shego’s horror, she could see the telltale signs of that dreadful puppy-dog pout forming. 

“Don’t you dare!” 

But Kim didn’t listen. Her eyebrows furrowed, her eyes grew impossibly wide, and an ever so slightly trembling lower lip started to jut out from her pouty mouth. 

“Gah! Just put that away, okay?” 

And just like that, Kim’s expression turned into a smug grin. “Please and thank you!” 

Shego suppressed a groan and rested her chin back against Kim’s shoulder. “You can thank the old cyclops for civilizing me.” 

“Betty?” 

“Yeah, well, with two of the founding members having grown up in a royal household, they couldn’t have the third acting like the street urchin she was, could they? They put me through a rather annoying lecture plan so I wouldn’t ruin their reputation when I’m out representing the guild.” Shego scoffed. “As if I ever wanted to know how to address the king’s cousin’s favorite pet rat without causing a scandal.” 

Kim snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. “That’s so not a thing.” 

“You’d be surprised about all the crap you have to wade through just so you don’t accidentally insult some self-important royal asshole. Actually, you shouldn’t. You’re nobility yourself, even if you’re entirely insignificant.” 

“Gee, thanks.” 

Shego smirked. “Just saying, shouldn’t you have gotten the whole royal-etiquette treatment growing up?” 

“Kind of. But it’s not like we even get invited to the really formal stuff with all the important families anymore. I’ve met Brick, like, once at another party. He spilled a drink on my dress without even noticing I was there. That’s about as close as I’ve ever gotten to the royal family.” 

“That brain-dead meathead of a prince that’s going to ruin this place as soon as his father croaks? Yeah, you didn’t miss much.” 

Kim hummed. “Wait!” she said, jerking her head up to look Shego in the eye again. “Isn’t Vivian, like, an actual princess?” 

“In her dreams,” Shego said with a laugh. “She was the youngest in a litter of nine or so. She might as well have been a maid for all the chance she had of taking her family’s throne, and that was before her dynasty was snuffed out.” 

“Harsh, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were taught social etiquette by a princess and her royal bodyguard.” Kim leaned back, putting some distance between them, and glared at Shego. “Months of teasing me about being a noble and calling me princess when all I really am is a small-town girl that’s barely even still mentioned in some dusty old genealogy book, while you’ve been tutored by actual royalty to live among them? What the Hell?” 

Shego couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the sudden rant, which only stoked the flames more. 

“It’s so not funny!” 

“Oh, come on, princess—” 

“Don’t princess me!” 

Shego had almost forgotten where they were when she noticed the growing number of curious stares pointed in their direction. It wasn’t the time or the place to push Kim’s buttons further no matter how much she would enjoy it. Instead, she decided to tackle the issue that had been hanging over them ever since they had decided to come to the party together. 

A gentle rub along Kim’s lower back was all it took to have the tension leave her body. She allowed herself to be pulled closer, and Shego moved to rest their foreheads together. The hard glare that been trained on her dissipated right before Shego closed her eyes, knowing that Kim would follow suit. 

“It doesn’t matter what I’ve been trained to do or what some old book says, to this little street urchin, you will always be her princess,” Shego said with sincerity before she moved forward to brush their lips together. 

It hadn’t been an overly passionate display, nor had it lasted for very long, but it had been readily accepted and public enough to give the rumor mills little room for interpretation when it came to the nature of their relationship. 

Most importantly though, it had conveyed everything Shego had needed it to convey. After their lips had parted, they leaned back against each other and finished their dance without wasting a single thought on the crowd that had formed watching them. 

* * *

Kim relaxed into her chair with a sigh. She could still feel the eyes of her peers on her whenever they thought she wasn’t looking in their direction, could still hear them whispering about her whenever they thought they were out of earshot, but she couldn’t find it in herself to be bothered by any of it. How could she after Shego had so openly displayed a side of herself that rarely ever materialized in public? 

She traced her lips with her fingers, noting the involuntary smile the memory of their kiss had etched into them. 

Kim had expected Shego to take charge sooner or later should she drag her feet, which was exactly what had happened. Most of the scenarios she had come up with had Shego snap, bending her over and kissing her hard, or just blurting out their relationship status, adding colorful and highly inappropriate descriptions that should never be uttered outside of the confines of their bedroom. 

But Shego had, once again, proven that there was more to her than the uncouth and violent monster most people liked to see her as. No, behind her tough outer shell—heavily armed and highly confrontational as it might be—beat a mushy heart that would bend over backward for the select few people she cared about, usually while vehemently denying anything of the sort. 

And bent over backward she had. The slow, romantic dances they had shared despite Shego’s dislike for the activity, the tender and sensitive kiss they had shared in front of everybody, even just accompanying her to the party in the first place, Shego had done it all for her benefit, which was why Kim hadn’t hesitated to lead them off the dance floor the moment the band had returned to its full contingent, striking up an upbeat, jazzy tune. 

It wasn’t like she wouldn’t have liked to try her luck with a faster song despite the risk of making a bit of a fool out of herself, but she knew that Shego would have hated it. She might have stuck around just for her benefit, but it would have ruined the memory of a moment Kim wanted to remember with fondness for years to come. 

A champagne flute filled with orange juice hovered into her field of view without a word. She plucked it out of the air and took a careful sniff while Shego, holding a glass filled with a deep-red liquid, pulled over a chair and sat down closer to her than the seating arrangements had intended. 

“It’s neat, plain and boring.” 

Kim raised an eyebrow. “Is that supposed to be some sort of commentary?” 

“Hardly.” Shego clinked their glasses together before taking a sip of her wine. “Your preferred choice of drinks is just about the only part of you one could ever call plain and boring.” 

Kim, more pleased with the answer than she liked to admit, settled back into her chair and leaned into her companion out of habit. Shego, likewise, shifted slightly in her seat and casually draped her arm over the back of Kim’s chair. 

“You’re really missing out this time though,” Shego said after taking another sip. “You’d think that an open bar serving a bunch of brats out to have a good time would stock the cheap stuff.” She swirled her glass and took a deep sniff that turned into a sensual moan. “It’s not quite up there with Betty’s private stash, but they wouldn’t hesitate to charge you an arm and a leg for this at any decent restaurant.” 

“You know I’m not good with alcohol, and I don’t like getting drunk.” 

“What harm could one glass do?” 

“You always say that, and the next thing I know, I wake up with the mother of all hangovers. Not all of us have the benefit of your stamina or metabolism.” 

“Yeah, yours is more like that of a newborn kitten. 

“It’s not like I can help it…” 

Shego laughed. “Lucky me. I like drunk Kimmie. She’s so much more daring, like, I remember that one night a couple of weeks ago when I had to fight for my life to stop her from stripping me naked right then and there in the common room of the inn we were staying at.” 

“I didn’t!” Or did I? 

“Oh, you so did! By the time I finally got you to our room, I was half naked and covered in love bites.” 

Kim buried her face in her hands, hiding her flaring cheeks, and groaned. 

“You should have seen the look on the buffoon’s face when you jumped into my lap and snaked your hand under my top. A blind man could have seen where you were going, and you sure as hell didn’t care where we were or who was watching.” 

“Please stop.” 

“Those little love bites and scratches lasted for days. Do you have any idea what it takes to leave a mark on me that lasts that long?” 

Kim groaned again. “I do remember that part.” She looked up at Shego from between her fingers. “I’m sorry?” 

“Ah, don’t be. It was quite the memorable night.” Shego took another sip of wine. “I guess I would have preferred for you to actually remember it, but I’m not gonna complain.” 

“I can’t believe that I did that,” Kim said with a sigh as she leaned back, seeking the warmth and comfort her companion provided, “or that not a single one of you told me about it.” 

“Right, as if the buffoon would ever touch that topic, and the little hunter? She didn’t flinch or blush. Gotta hand it to her, that Yamanouchi training is the real deal.” 

Kim couldn’t help but smile at the proud note that had snuck into Shego’s voice. No matter how much she might deny it when questioned, Shego had taken an instant liking to the girl that had cast away her old life and crossed an ocean for the sole purpose of killing her. A liking Yori had come to reciprocate just as strongly, even though she kept insisting that she had yet to make up her mind about allowing Shego to live. 

Sometimes, Kim worried about their peculiar relationship. Not because she feared that Shego might stray in her devotion to her or that Yori might try to make good on her threat on Shego’s life, but because both of them, each in their own way, had been raised in a far more violent and deadly world than either Ron or her had. While she no longer had to worry about them trying to kill each other, leaving either of them to their own devices usually lead to a lot more trouble than she was comfortable with. Leaving them to their own devices with each other, well, that was a mistake Kim would never make again. 

Her eyes found their way back to Yori, who was still hard at work on the dance floor. The former inhabitant of a desolate mountain fortress was hardly what Kim would call relaxed or carefree—she had already mastered the dance steps of the latest song, but her performance was somewhat clinical, almost too perfect—but it was good to see the stoic and overly serious girl acting less stoic and overly serious for a change. Yori deserved a break. She had probably saved up the equivalent of months, if not years, of vacation time over the course of her young and violent life, but unlike Shego, who wouldn’t hesitate to flaunt her ability to live like a queen without lifting a finger, she was relentless in her work ethic. She was beyond reasonable even from a Possible’s point of view, and those were high standards to live up to. 

“Kimberly!” 

A groan escaped Kim as her attention was snapped back to her immediate surroundings by the grating voice of the last person she had wanted to meet that evening. 

“It is so nice to see you,” Bonnie Rockwaller said as she stepped around the table and joined them without observing any of the social graces she would have undoubtedly demanded from anyone else if their positions would have been reversed. 

“Bonnie,” Kim offered through gritted teeth, “and Josh.” She suppressed another groan. Scratch that. It was both of the people she had hoped to avoid running into that evening the most, and for good reason if the amused glint in Shego’s eyes was anything to go by. 

“Hey, Kim,” Josh said sheepishly as he hovered behind the chair next to Bonnie’s. 

At least he hadn’t forgotten his— 

“Stop hovering and sit down already!” 

Never mind. Bonnie’s command was obeyed with a nervous chuckle but no objection whatsoever. 

“You remember Josh Mankey, of course. My date for the evening.” 

“Of course,” Kim replied, wondering if there was any chance that Bonnie wouldn’t make a big deal out of things or that Shego had forgotten about the name Kim had once relinquished in a moment of weakness while being prodded about her romantic history. 

She risked a quick glimpse at her companion from the corner of her eyes and suppressed yet another groan. None whatsoever, would be the correct answer to the latter. 

Bonnie’s face, meanwhile, had morphed into a mask of feigned ignorance. “Honestly, I was a bit worried when I heard that you were back in town. I didn’t want to cause any bad blood between us just because the boy you’ve been crushing on for the last, like, forever chose to pursue me while you were gone.” 

Kim was about to say something to shut Bonnie up, or to make her look like an idiot, or to point out that Bonnie only went after Josh because of that stupid rivalry that was all in her head to begin with—okay, Kim hadn’t really made up her mind about what exactly she wanted to say, but she wanted to say something—when an amused hum from Shego made her cringe. She had to get rid of Bonnie _and_ Josh—she didn’t even have the time to contemplate how ridiculous that would have sounded to her only a few months back—before the memory of the evening she wanted to preserve and treasure would end up torn to pieces and trampled into the ground by a mirthful daemon with a penchant for taking things too far and a vindictive, self-entitled brat holding a baseless grudge. 

“But, from the looks of it, I worried for no reason,” Bonnie continued. “It seems like stories of mud, bugs, and whatever gross stuff you play with on your little expeditions are not the only things you and your loser friend dragged back with you this time.” 

“Those ‘little expeditions’ aren’t play dates! They are valuable work for the guild that helps a lot of—” 

“Yeah, whatever.” Bonnie made a show of inspecting her perfectly manicured nails in disinterest as she cut her off. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?” 

Kim, in an epic display of self-control, managed not to punch Bonnie in the face, or kick her in the shin, hard, while feigning ignorance, or at least dump her drink on her to ruin her dress. Just to be on the safe side though, she crossed her arms in front of her, fingers turning white from the force with which they dug into her biceps, and mumbled through gritted teeth, “Shego, Bonnie. Bonnie, Shego.” 

Bonnie replaced the superior smirk that had crept into her face with a textbook mask of humble social grace as she turned to Shego. “Bonnie Rockwaller and _my_ boyfriend, Josh Mankey. It is a pleasure to meet you Miss…?” 

“Just Shego.” 

“Just Shego?” Bonnie asked, not hiding her disdain for the lack of a proper—or any—family name. 

Fortunately, Josh prevented her from elaborating with his own greeting. “Nice to meet you, Shego.” 

“I wonder about that,” she said with a smirk that made Kim’s blood freeze in her veins. “Looks like you had it made until I showed up. I mean”—Shego whistled suggestively—“having two hot girls clawing each other’s eyes out over you, that’s gotta be every teenage boy’s dream come true.” 

Josh sighed. “You would be surprised.” 

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold your horses.” Kim couldn’t believe what she had just heard. “Bonnie? You think that Bonnie, of all people, is hot?” 

“What? She’s got some nice curves and that dress, man, I thought the little hunter was sailing close to the wind for this kind of party, but hers is rather tame in comparison.” 

Kim’s eyes were drawn to Bonnie involuntarily. The asymmetric dress made from a thin turquoise fabric not only fit her like a glove but provided a very attractive contrast to her tanned skin. It did a fantastic job of drawing the eye to the dangerously low cut border between artificial and natural skin that was a far cry beyond what would be considered decent at any society event. 

And of course, she had curves! Kim didn’t need a reminder of that. She’s had plenty of them over the years with Bonnie having grown into her shapely hour-glass figure early on in life while Kim had been “blessed” with her mother’s slender frame and bubble butt—not that she had a bubble butt! Needless to say that Bonnie had never let her forget about the difference in their development. 

It was hard to argue that she wasn’t hot though. Kim frowned, not liking the thought. She took a glance at Josh in his perfectly tailored sports jacket. He was undoubtedly handsome, and that rebellious haircut and his laid-back attitude had once made her go weak in her knees, but that seemed to have passed. Kim’s attention returned to Bonnie. Her “rival” had always been attractive, yes, but hot? She wasn’t as well-developed as Shego, but pretty close, and she was neither as tall as Shego nor did she sport her athletic physique, which, as it turned out, only helped in highlighting what curves she did have. Not to mention her skin, a perfect bronze free of any of the many scars and blemishes Kim had acquired over the years. There weren’t even any tan lines no matter how low her neckline plunged. How did she even— 

Bonnie cleared her throat in irritation. “If you’re quite finished ogling my body like some filthy dock worker—” 

“I was not ogling your body!” 

“Well,” Shego said. “Technically, that’s the second time you got caught checking out another girl right in front of your incredibly hot girlfriend tonight alone.” 

“I was not checking out Bonnie!” Kim pointed at the girl in question in exasperation. “It’s Bonnie!” 

“So? She doesn’t have to be pleasant company to make you enjoy the view.” 

“But—” 

“It’s Bonnie?” 

“Yes!” 

The subject in question cleared her throat again. “Not like I want to encourage,” she waved her hand at them dismissively, “this—I mean, like, ew—but could you not use me as an insult. That’s seriously rude, even for an uncivilized country hick like you.” 

“See! She’s incorrigible!” Kim said. “Doesn’t matter if she’s attractive or not, there’s gotta be something seriously wrong with whoever falls for her!” 

“Like your ex here?” Shego asked. 

“Right! Wait, no.” Kim turned to Josh, raising her hands in apology. “That’s not what I meant.” 

“Nah, it’s okay, Kim. I totally get it.” 

“What?” Bonnie asked, her voice hitching up an octave. “You are _my_ boyfriend! You’re supposed to defend _my_ honor, not agree with the bumpkin!” 

“Come on, Bon-Bon.” 

“Don’t call me that!” 

“You need to chill out and take these things in stride. Who cares if you can be a bit difficult.” 

“Difficult? Difficult!” 

“That’s putting it mildly,” Kim mumbled as she watched Josh try and appease a raging Bonnie. 

Before their fight could build momentum, Shego leaned forward, propping herself up on her elbow with her chin resting on her hand. Despite the lazy posture, there was a dangerous, predatory edge to it, which did not go unnoticed by their company. Bonnie’s angry tirade came to a screeching halt and was replaced by a wary look that was mirrored on Josh’s face as they both leaned back as far as they could in their chairs. 

Shego homed in on Josh with a smirk that exposed her sharp canines, though, he was not the one she was talking to. “So, why him?” 

Kim had expected the question to pop up eventually, but she had yet to find an answer that she was sure would satisfy Shego without making things very awkward for everyone involved. She decided to try her luck at evasion instead. “You know, we never actually went out together.” 

Shego hummed, not taking her eyes off her prey for a second. “But you wanted to. Rather badly from the sound of it. Tell me, oh former target of my princess’s affections, why would she have wanted to be with you?” 

Josh chuckled nervously. “Well, I—” 

“Are you some sort of a soldier with a hero complex?” 

“Ah, no, not really. I had some self-defense lessons my father insisted on, but—” 

“You aren’t with the guild either.” 

“That place Kim always hung out at after school?” 

“How about sports?” 

“I played soccer in elementary school.” 

“Uh-huh, yeah, how about a criminal record? Have you ever broken into a high-security—” 

“He’s the lead singer of his own band!” Kim blurted out the moment she had realized where Shego was headed. And not a moment too soon if the shocked expressions on Bonnie and Josh’s faces were any indication. 

Shego, for the first time since she had started her interrogation, turned her head toward Kim with a frown. “So? I play the piano. What’s that got to do with anything?” 

“The piano? How?” 

“With my hands, doy!” 

Kim fought hard not to groan or roll her eyes. “I mean, when did you have time to learn that given, you know, everything?” 

“The same time I learned how to dance, obviously.” 

She turned her gaze back to Josh and started to tap her index finger on the tabletop. Her naturally sharp nail left far deeper indentations in the hardwood than it had any right to, which did not miss its mark with Bonnie and Josh. Kim shook her head. The playful daemon knew exactly what effect she had on people even with small gestures like that. 

“So that’s it? You wasted years pining for some musician?” 

“I wasn’t pining, just crushing, a little. And it wasn’t years! Just a school year or so. And there is more to him than his band. He volunteers for all kinds of charities and community events, and—” 

Shego’s head slipped from her hand and made contact with the tabletop with a thud. “Please stop,” she said with a groan from somewhere underneath the veil of thick hair that was hiding her face. “I thought this would be fun, like, you having had a crush on some arrogant, buff hero type that I could push into pissing his pants without ever touching him.” There was a pregnant pause that had Josh shift uncomfortably in his seat. “I do not want to hear you gush over some Goody Two-Shoes pretty boy and your fairy tale crush.” 

“I don’t gush! And you brought that on yourself.” 

Shego groaned again, but before she could argue back, more visitors arrived at their table. 

“I don’t know what you did to her, KP, but I approve!” Ron said. 

“Zip it, buffoon!” 

“What game are we playing? List all her least favorite foods? No, that one’s too cruel, not even Shego deserves that. How about come up with funny nicknames for the woman who can dish it out but can’t take it? No? Oh, I know! List all the times she did something heroic for free just because ‘her princess’ asked her to and we all totally believed her when she said that she wasn’t whipped. That one always gets to her,” he added in a stage whisper toward Josh. 

Shego pushed herself off the table and glared at Ron. “Don’t you have some more Ronning around to do over there, on the other side of the room?” 

“If by Ronning around you mean totally rock it on the dance floor, then yes, later. We need a drink first. Keep all those fluids and nutrients up so we can go all night, right Yori?” 

Yori’s presence became noticeable for the first time since they had arrived at the table. “I would be honored to partake in more of the dancing with you, Ron-san.” 

“That’s hardly what one would call his Ronning around,” Bonnie said with mirth. “Huh, wouldn’t you know. It actually works with his name.” 

“I know, right?” Shego said, her grumpy mood, just like Bonnie’s reservations toward her, completely forgotten. “Finally, someone who gets it!” 

“Well, duh! Nobody in their right mind would equate Cheeseface with anything but idiocy and buffoonery.” 

“Cheeseface? Oh, this, I gotta hear!” 

Kim watched in horror as her girlfriend and her nemesis started to bond over bashing her best friend since pre-k. 

“One time!” Ron said, raising his arms in exasperation. “A guy trips and spills a bit of cheese fondue _one time,_ and he never hears the end of it…” 

“That sounds pretty par for the course for him,” Shego said with a hint of disappointment. 

Bonnie rolled her eyes. “It was scalding hot cheese and he spilled it by diving in face first. Turned all blistery and gross—well, grosser than usual—for, like, a month.” 

“A week! It was only a week. That funky smelling stuff Mrs. Dr. P gave me to smear on my face worked like a charm.” 

“Okay, that’s a pretty good one!” Shego said in between laughs that had mostly overshadowed Ron’s correction. “Oh, I bet there’s a lot more where that came from. We should totally hang out and trade some stories one of these days.” 

Scratch the dream-like, pleasant memory of the evening Kim had been trying to preserve. This was a nightmare! 

“Sure, but only if you dish some dirt on her,” Bonnie said, pointing vaguely in Kim’s direction in a show of casual disinterest. 

Kim was about to scrap their dangerous trade—she really couldn’t afford for Bonnie to get her hands on even more ammunition, especially the kind Shego had to offer—when an arm was draped over her shoulders and pulled her close. 

“Yeah, no can do. There are some things that just aren’t worth it.” 

Kim relaxed into her lover’s hold and scolded herself for doubting Shego even for a second. She would never sell her out to anyone. Ron, however… 

“But if you ever change your mind, let me know. I’ve got some great material on the buffoon. You know, anything from failing to score with just about every girl we’ve ever met to somehow getting covered in any unidentifiable, disgusting gunk we’ve come within a hundred yards or so. Usually with his pants down. In either case.” 

Bonnie frowned as she glanced at Yori, who had placed her hand on Ron’s forearm while trying to placate him in quiet whispers. “He seems to be doing surprisingly well for himself.” 

“Yeah, that one’s a bit of a puzzler. She seems to be immune to his Ron-ness for some reason.” Shego shook her head. “Might be a cultural thing. Or just a few too many hits to the head. It’s like a sport for her lot.” 

“Seriously, Shego?” Kim asked. 

“What? I’m not arguing with the results when it comes to a good fight, but every single one of those mountain hermits I’ve come across was a bit loopy. And they do like to whack each other with bamboo sticks.” 

The muted roar of an engine cut off their conversation. Several more joined in in a bizarre mechanical symphony before falling silent again. Confused looks were traded at the table during the quick intermission that was soon followed by muffled, unintelligible screams. 

###  Author’s Note 

Phew, there we are, first half done with. 

I hadn’t written any _Kim Possible_ stories for quite a while, and I have to admit, I’m very rusty when it comes to just about every character but Kim and Shego (and even with them, I barely remember their catchphrases and all that). Most of what I do remember are leftovers from having read far too many _Kim Possible_ fan fics over the years, so I hope I didn’t butcher the characters too much. 

I really need to re-watch the show at some point, but I’m mostly happy with how things have turned out. Granted, some parts are quite atrocious on the technical side and the story is a bit exposition heavy by nature given that it is an “introductory” deal, but I don’t think it’s all that bad on the whole. 

The story itself is set at a somewhat advanced point in the series (several story arcs down the line) where the romantic relationship between Kim and Shego is well established and comes with some spoilers on how they got there. That being said, I get the feeling that it might have made it sound like they took a lot longer to get to the romance part than my outline actually dictates. 

As it stands, the first story arc planned for this universe is a rather short adventure focused on Kim and Shego’s first meeting under somewhat unfriendly terms, while the second leads into the romantic side of things. We just go from there until we shock the socks off Ann (Shego is not a guy so, obviously, James just goes about reading his paper) when her little girl presents her daemonic girlfriend after having been gone for months. I bet that went over well… 

As for Ann herself, it was my first attempt at using her as a point of view character, so I’m quite curious if she’s recognizable and how to improve on her. 

Most of the rest of the scenes are dedicated to introducing the setting and giving some insight into how Kim and Shego see their relationship with each other respectively. 

I’m not entirely sure why the sexual theme turned out as strong as it has whenever Kim is reminiscing, but it kind of works. She’s a hormonal teenager in the honeymoon phase after all, and Kim and Shego always had a very explosive and playful physical relationship, so having their romantic relationship start off with a strong carnal bias that develops into something more meaningful sounds just about right for those two. 

And then there was Bonnie. I’m not gonna lie, writing her was fun. I’m not sure how well I captured her, but she’s definitely one of my favorite _Kim Possible_ characters to work with. She is also going to join the main cast as more than just a random annoyance that drives Kim up the walls eventually, but that doesn’t happen until quite far into the series. 

And yes, I realize that I put it on a bit thick with Kim ogling Bonnie and Shego teasing her about it, but she is not a love interest for either of them. I do _not_ waste my time with love-triangles and Kigo is set in stone for _any_ story involving these characters I write. 

It was just an attempt at a bit of self-discovery on Kim’s part as the whole gay side of herself has snuck up on her while she was away on her journey, and it was the first time she had seen Bonnie (who is supposed to be quite attractive, personality aside) since returning home. 

Anyway, I’m going to add a few words about the setting, potential story arcs, and so on at the end of the next chapter, which is to be released around the weekend and will conclude this short story. If you have any specific questions feel free to ask and I might include them. 

Now, as always, please let me know what you think, and feel free to drop by on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sittschowrites) for news and further information on this and other stories in the works. 

That is all. 


	3. Unexpected Party Favors (Part Two)

Bonnie’s evening had not gone the way she had hoped it would. Her attempt at showing up the insufferable country bumpkin had fallen flat on its face, sending months of planning and scheming down the drain. 

Any other day, the situation wouldn’t have been irredeemable. After all, Kim had always been an exceptionally easy mark. A few choice words here, a couple of insinuating remarks there, and she would have all but plunged the proverbial knife into her own back and offered it up to be twisted for good measure. 

It had all been laid out carefully in Bonnie’s head—one should never go to war, or a social gathering, without being adequately prepared for all circumstances—but Kim’s plus one was not something she would ever have thought to be prepared for. The interest in women had caught her off guard as every former target of the bumpkin’s affections she had known about had been male, yes, but it was more than that. There was something dangerous about the woman with no last name or title that had left little doubt in Bonnie’s mind that the social conventions of the civilized world would not protect her should she push her luck. 

Not that she had realized as much from the start. No, watching them dance, especially after it had become clear that they were more than just friends, she had mostly found herself wondering what could be wrong with the woman. She was highly attractive—almost as much so as Bonnie herself—graceful enough not to embarrass herself on the dance floor despite her poor choice of partner, and projected that rare air of unwavering confidence one could find in a select few of the military’s finest in everything she did. In short, she was completely and utterly out of the bumpkin’s league. 

Of course, that impression had only lasted until Bonnie had gotten a closer look at the woman. The signs had been subtle enough from a distance in the dim lighting of the party, but there was some degree of non-human blood flowing through her veins. Which kind, Bonnie couldn’t tell, not that it mattered. Those not of human descent rarely ever ventured close enough to civilization to be relevant, and even if they did, all they ever amounted to were servants and menial laborers, neither of which held any interest to Bonnie’s ambitions. 

No, the Shego woman was nothing but an uncouth, violent barbarian, which was not to say that their association had been entirely without merit. Who would have thought that her rightful dislike of the buffoon’s idiocy would pave the way to a previously unimaginable wealth of incriminating information about the bumpkin? Or so it could have, had they not been interrupted. 

It should come as no surprise that Bonnie found herself glaring in the direction of the commotion that had cost her the attention of Kim’s escort with such intense disapproval that anyone with more self-awareness than a random commotion would have found themselves a whimpering mess on the floor, begging her for mercy. It certainly had done the trick with the imbecile of a maid that had spilled cream soup all over her favorite dress only a couple of nights before. The stupid girl would think twice before ever giving her sisters another reason to mock her… 

Unfortunately, the commotion at hand wasn’t a skittish maid, and Bonnie wasn’t the only person present whose reaction diverted from the norm. The moment the roaring engines had been replaced by frantic shouting, Kim and her friends had jumped up from their seats, ready to do whatever it was they did when they were out on one of their stupid little adventures. 

Well, almost all of them. Shego hadn’t moved from their table, her attention focused on the almost empty glass of wine she was swirling with her free hand. The curious display of disinterest and annoyance was almost enough for Bonnie to remain seated while watching the events to come unfold with the dignity and composure of an elder statesmen, as would be expected of her. 

After all, she was no stranger to the odd display of violence—an unfortunate part of her role as a daughter of one of the most influential noble houses in the kingdom were the occasional kidnapping attempts—and between their host’s guards, the wide assortment of bodyguards, and the bumpkin’s little club of do-gooders, how bad could it be? 

Her bravado, however, faltered the moment the commotion finally entered the warehouse in the form of a heavily bleeding and disorientated guard. One of his arms was hanging at an odd angle at his side while his good hand was applying pressure to a nasty gash on his scalp that made it look like the someone had tried to peel his head like a banana. 

The guard managed to take a few shaky steps into the room while mumbling incoherently before his legs gave way. Lucky for him, one of the guards that had been stationed close by the entrance caught him just in the nick of time and lowered him gently to the ground where they were joined by a third guard, performing some sort of a cursory medical checkup. 

His face was peeling off and he couldn’t wield his weapon anymore. Why they were even wasting their time with him, Bonnie couldn’t tell. There were bad guys out there that needed their attention far more than the loser who had failed to do his job in the first place! 

At least his entrance had pulled the rest of the room out of its stupor. The eclectic assortment of bodyguards had sprung into action, seeking out their respective charges, while Monique—their host and one of the few classmates Bonnie had somewhat regular contact with due to her family’s business—had taken charge of her guards, ordering them to herd the guests towards the stage. 

Bonnie hadn’t noticed when she herself had gotten up from her chair and taken a couple of steps back, but she could only assume that it was related to the iron grip Josh had on her hand as he was pulling her further away from the downed guard. 

At first, she couldn’t help but feel a certain level of pride in her boyfriend and how he was finally playing his part. He still had a ways to go to make up for his lackluster performance in front of the bumpkin earlier, and he hadn’t exactly pulled out a sword before heroically charging into danger to protect her, but he seemed concerned with her safety at least. 

Not that she was putting much stock in Josh even if he should try and stand his ground for her sake—the martial aspects of noble life had never been his forte—but she was willing to give him a chance. At least as long as she had her actual bodyguard—a veritable mountain of a man who had found his way to her side in no time—nearby to get the job done just in case. 

The whole affair should have been barely worth talking about. Bonnie had the best personal protection money could buy looking out for her, and she was surrounded by plenty of expendable pawns. All she had to do was to join the safety of the huddle by the stage, watch the professionals do their thing, and get back to the party. 

But no, the bumpkin just had to show her up again! 

She and her weird assortment of friends were headed right toward the danger. Most of them anyway, which left Shego, who had emptied her glass of wine and seemed to have decided that the glass of orange juice Kim had been nursing was far more interesting than a band of party-crashing thugs. 

No, that would not do! She would not run and hide with the rabble while that insufferable brat stole the spotlight from her again! 

Bonnie yanked her hand free from Josh’s grip, silenced his protest with a glare, and took a step forward in defiance, positioning herself firmly in front of both her date and her bodyguard. She might not be of much use in a fight, but she would not yield to intimidation or threats, and she would damn well make sure that everyone present would remember as much! 

* * *

It hadn’t taken long for Bonnie’s resolve to be put to the test. Before Kim had even reached the downed guard—in a display of superhuman self-restraint, Bonnie had refrained from making a sharp-tongued remark when she had remembered that the girl was the daughter of a renowned doctor and might actually know what she was doing—a couple of gravelly voices could be heard from the entrance. 

“Dude, seriously, I told you not to let any of them get away and spoil the surprise.” 

“Sorry, boss.” 

“You better be, dude, or you’ll be on oil rag duty for the next month. Seriously.” 

Bonnie’s face twisted in disgust as her eyes fell on the intruders. The “boss” was a walking fashion disaster the likes of which not even the buffoon could have matched in his darkest hours. Stained clothes, ripped off sleeves, grimy boots, horrible color coordination; and that was only the outfit. A handlebar mustache and a mullet? Nobody in the history of ever had pulled that off without looking like a complete idiot. Especially with that much bleached-blond “fun” in the back. 

His underlings weren’t much better. Mullets and handlebar mustaches aplenty were matched with dull gray overalls and all kinds of tools and stuff. Some stocky fellow, presumably the one in danger of becoming a rag man—whatever that might entail—was holding a massive wrench drenched in blood, while others were sporting chains, bent metal rods, and similar such nonsense Bonnie could only presume to be part of some workman’s toolkit rather than actual weapons, which took some of the urgency out of the situation. Clearly, a bunch of rag-tag morons waving around random pieces of metal were no match for properly trained and equipped professionals. 

“Motor Ed?” Kim asked. 

“Red! Long time no see, seriously.” 

Bonnie groaned. She didn’t know what was worse, the ridiculous name, the even more ridiculous nickname, or that the bumpkin knew the guy. Of course, she would. Why else would a bunch of violent, dirty vagrants crash a heavily-guarded party in the middle of the city than to settle some score with the self-proclaimed teenage hero who probably pretended to save the world by stealing their laundry or something. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be locked up?” Ron asked. 

“Dude, have you ever been to prison? It’s seriously depressing.” 

“You are a fugitive?” the buffoon’s girlfriend—what was her name again?—asked without a hint of surprise or worry in her voice. “It is not wise to walk in the open and draw attention to yourself in your position.” 

“Ah, Yori?” So that was her name. “How about we don’t give the bad guys ideas on how to do better?” 

For once, Bonnie agreed with the buffoon. 

“I apologize for the misunderstanding, Ron-san. I was merely making an observation, not trying to aid our enemies.” 

“Whoa, dude! It’s like every time we meet, there’s another hot babe hanging around with you,” Motor Ed said. “Seriously, you’re the man, dude!” 

“Ron, the Man? Seriously, dude, I like it!” 

Bonnie rolled her eyes. She hadn’t thought that the buffoon could get any more obnoxious, but he seemed to be hell-bent on proving her wrong. 

“Can we get back to business?” Kim asked. “What are you doing here, Ed?” 

“Taking revenge, like, seriously, dude,” he said, puffing out his chest. “I was all set to cruise around the world at hyper-sonic speed when you lifted my wheels!” 

Grand theft auto? Well, she had gotten the stealing part right at least. 

“That was, like, a year ago. And the car wasn’t even yours. You stole most of the parts from my dad’s lab!” 

“Dude, it’s not my problem if they don’t lock their stuff up properly. Finders keepers.” 

“Whatever,” Kim said with a sigh. “I thought you learned your lesson the last time you tried this, but it looks like you need a refresher.” 

As Kim got into some sort of a fighting stance and the guards finally made a move to throw out the party crashers, it should have been the end of the story as far as Bonnie was concerned. The guards outnumbered the intruders, they had actual weapons, and, presumably, they knew that they were doing. Though, given that they were deferring to a random teenage girl on how and when to act, the latter was highly questionable. 

Unfortunately, the walking mullet did not agree with Bonnie’s assessment. “Let it rip, dudes!” he yelled, bringing the guards’ advance to a stop as everyone in the room braced themselves for… 

“Ah, doesn’t something usually happen when one of the bad guys says something like that?” Ron asked. 

“Seriously, dude, that’s what I wanna know,” Motor Ed said, looking just as confused as everyone else. He punched some lanky guy in an oil-stained wife beater in the shoulder. “Go and make something happen, dude!” 

As the thug ran out the front entrance, the buffoon, rather than doing something useful like, say, stopping the guy, ended up fumbling for small talk. “So, how about a heads-up? You know, do the whole villain rambling about their plan thing?” 

“That’s more my cousin’s style, dude. Real men prefer action over talk.” 

“Oh, yeah, totally. As a fellow real man I agree”—Bonnie groaned—“but, you know, for the rest of them it might be nice to know what they’re in for.” 

Whatever answer the walking mullet might have given was cut off by the roaring of engines toward the side entrances. That finally got the guards’ attention, sending them back toward their original posts. 

The engines revved up a couple more times before screeching tires announced that “something” was indeed about to happen. 

The wooden side doors were blown off their hinges and came crashing into the room followed by a shower of splinters, bricks, and mortar. As the clouds of dust and debris settled, they revealed two giant metal monstrosities—their tires alone stood about as tall as Bonnie—sticking out of the walls. 

Their doors opened to add more fashion-challenged party crashers to the mix who were now easily outnumbering the guards in the room. At least if one counted only the guards hired by their host to provide security for the party. An accurate, albeit infuriating, assumption as most of the bodyguards had yet to show any signs of getting involved beyond protecting their own charges. 

“How do you like my new babies, Red? They might not go hyper sonic, but they make quite the impression.” 

“I don’t know.” Kim looked at them with a frown. “Feels like you’re trying to overcompensate for something.” 

A snicker from the table in front of her drew Bonnie’s attention. Seriously? Out of everything that had happened since their conversation had been so rudely interrupted, that was what the stupid woman chose to react to? How about channeling some of that aggression she had shown toward Josh into throwing the walking mullet and his thugs out on their asses? But no, that wasn’t important. Laughing at the bumpkin’s pathetic excuse for humor was! 

“Whatever, Red. We came prepared for you this time. Both of you!” 

“Aw,” Ron said. “I feel flattered and all, but you shouldn’t have.” 

“Dude, seriously, I had totally forgotten about you until I saw you standing there.” 

The buffoon’s shoulder’s slumped. “Right, of course, you had…” 

“You aren’t going to get out of it this time, Red! Once I have you hog-tied and turned into my new hood ornament, your old dude won’t have a choice but to build me a new cruiser!” 

“That’s your big plan?” Shego asked, finally showing an interest. “Kidnap Kimmie to get a new ride? Seriously?” 

“Seriously! But don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about you and the little trick you played on me last time, green babe.” 

“Yeah, uh-huh. First of all, _never_ call me that again,” Shego said with a sharp edge that made the walking mullet flinch before continuing casually, “and second, just leave me out of this. I wasn’t even around when Kimmie took your stupid toy car, and I was barely involved when you interrupted her little temper tantrum and got your ass handed to you. Get over it already, dude.” 

The amusement on Bonnie’s lips died away in an instant when she felt the temperature in the room drop by several degrees. 

“Excuse me? My little what?” Kim asked. “I had every right to be mad at you! You screwed up, stuck your nose where it didn’t belong, stalked us, robbed us, and left us to fend for our lives while you cashed out!” 

Oh, that sounded like a story Bonnie should coax out of her new “friend” the first chance she got. 

“So?” Shego said with a casual wave of her hand. “I left that ugly monkey totem thing wrapped up in a bow for you to hand in after I was done with it. You got your guild stamp of pointless approval; I got my ticket off the island. Sounds like a win-win to me.” 

Kim gave up all pretense of caring about what was happening around her and focused on Shego with a huff. “Win-win? The only reason I didn’t fail that job was because you were acting like a condescending ass!” 

“You mean we, right, KP?” Ron asked, only to be ignored. 

Shego raised an eyebrow at Kim. “I don’t see the problem here. You did your job, you got your prize. All I did was help you carry a bit of dead weight back to town without asking for permission.” 

Kim threw her arms up in exasperation. “That’s just it! I didn’t do my job. I tried to stop you from taking the monkey, I tried to catch up with you and take it back, but I couldn’t. Not even close. If you had been working for anybody else at the time, I would have failed that job, and that stamp on my guild pass is a constant reminder of that!” 

“Not to repeat myself, but still meaning we, right, KP?” 

Shego shrugged. “You got lucky, so what? That’s part of the game. And for the record, if you expect an apology from me for doing my job better than you did yours, you’re not gonna get it.” 

“I never wanted you to apologize for doing your job! I wanted you to apologize for breaking the rules—” 

“Not gonna happen.” 

“—and for not taking me seriously.” 

“Us, right, KP? Seriously, why do I even bother…?” 

Shego’s expression lost her edge. “Not taking you seriously? What the hell are you talking about, princess? I know for a fact that you still have the note I left you with stashed away in your memento box.” 

“That wasn’t an apology.” 

“More like a love letter that somehow managed to insult me every other sentence even though it barely acknowledged my existence,” Ron mumbled with his arms crossed. 

“Ron!” Kim yelled, blushing furiously. 

“Oh, now she hears me…” 

Shego hummed. “You know, it wasn’t meant that way—the love letter part that is. The insults, definitely intended—” 

“Gee, thanks.” 

“—but looking back at it, the buffoon’s not that far off. I mean, come on. I went into that job thinking that I was up against some entitled brat playing pretend adventurer, but you actually gave me a run for my money and made me look forward to messing with you again someday.” Shego leaned back in her chair with a smirk. “Guess the note touched a nerve, or it wouldn’t have gotten you riled up enough to drop whatever you were doing and hunt me down on the spot.” 

“That wasn’t—” 

“Just imagine what could have happened that first night if that gearhead moron hadn’t shown up to cause trouble. 

“Seriously, dude, I’m right here…” 

The walking mullet’s protest had as much success as the buffoon’s had had. 

“You followed me across half the continent to bite my head off, and not even half an hour in I already had you drunk off your tight little ass and willing to do anything.” 

“Shego!” 

“You just had to get yourself stabbed.” Shego sighed and shook her head. “I could have thought of so many better reasons for peeling you out of your clothes than a flesh wound…” 

“You know what?” Kim squealed as her cheeks were doing their best to outshine that eyesore of ginger she called a hairdo. “You’re right! We cleared the air about that a long time ago. Nothing to talk about anymore. Like, at all. Especially not in public!” 

“Seriously, Red? It was just getting good.” 

Kim’s eye twitched once, twice, before she turned to face the walking mullet. “Aren’t you supposed to be a villain trying to achieve his dastardly goal by kidnapping me? Well, stop gawking and get on with it!” 

Bonnie wasn’t the only one who found herself staring at the bumpkin slack-jawed. And not for the first time that evening, she wondered just what the hell was wrong with those people… 

* * *

It had taken her a while to figure it out. In fact, Bonnie had been pondering the question ever since she had first met the bumpkin and the buffoon back when they had infiltrated her school and become constant thorns in her side. They had only been twelve at the time, but Bonnie had known at first glance that something was just wrong with the both of them. A feeling they had managed to reinforce many, many times since, and yet, it had taken Bonnie to this very moment to come to a firm and undeniable conclusion: They, and everyone they seemed to associate with, were completely and utterly insane! 

“Good one, right KP?” Ron asked with a nervous chuckle. “I mean, this has to be a dream because there is no way I’m not having a nightmare right now.” 

At least the buffoon had the good sense to recognize the insanity of the situation unlike the bumpkin, who seemed oddly okay with it all. 

“Not a dream, Ron.” 

“No, no, seriously, KP. Tell me that the guy with gears for brains didn’t bring a giant pink monkey to a party.” 

But that was exactly what had happened. Just when Bonnie had thought that the evening couldn’t get any more weird and that everybody was finally ready to stop prattling about and get on with things, the fashion-challenged mullet man had delivered one hell of a sucker punch to common sense by whistling a ten-foot-tall pink monkey to his heels like he was calling for a dog. 

“He didn’t,” Shego said, topping Kim’s calm acceptance of the surreal with bored disregard. 

Ron looked from Shego to the monkey and back a couple of times. “Yeah, no, it’s still there.” 

“Ron-san, I believe what Shego-san was referring to was that it is not a monkey but an ape,” Yori said in a level voice that would have been better suited to lecturing little children in a very safe environment rather than anywhere or anytime staring down the beady eyes of a ten-foot-tall pink monkey! 

“There’s a difference?” Ron asked. 

“Monkeys have tails, apes don’t,” Kim said. 

Ron furrowed his brows and studied the ape in light of the new information. In return, it bared its teeth at him with a hiss, making him jump and hide behind Kim. 

“Right, okay. Pretty sure I’m, like, mildly uncomfortable with both monkeys and apes,” he said, which caused a sarcastic snort from Shego. 

“It is wise to keep a respectable distance from most primates, Ron-san. Their strength is as deceptive as their temperament, leading to many tales of disfigurement and death among my people.” 

“Not helping, Yori. Not helping at all…” 

“I am sorry, Ron-san. I was merely trying to—” 

“Are you kidding me?” Bonnie yelled before she knew what she was doing. 

With the attention of the room suddenly focused on her, she took a deep breath to regain whatever might be left of her composure. “We are trapped in here with armed thugs blocking every way out, freakishly large cars stuck in the walls, and _that_ monstrosity”—she pointed at the pink giant with both hands for emphasis—“waving around a tree trunk like it’s trying out for some stupid sports team, and you have nothing better to do than argue semantics and lecture on pet safety?” 

“Dude, I totally thought he was a monkey too,” Motor Ed said, finally breaking the last straw. 

Bonnie screamed in frustration. “You!” She pointed at Kim. “You got us into this mess! Now, move your ass and get us out of it!” 

Much to her surprise, the bumpkin did not scream back at her, or argue with her, or tell her where she could stick her demands—though, Bonnie had not missed the strained expression and the twitch in her eye—but rather turned her attention to the guards taking care of their bleeding colleague. 

“Move him out of the way and protect the guests!” 

And they did, with no complaints, leaving the front half of the warehouse—which, much to her regret, included Bonnie—even more skewed against their favor than it had already been. 

“Ron, Yori, take care of the side entrances”—again, no complaints—“and Shego—” 

The woman’s deep sigh was overshadowed by the scraping of wooden chair legs over the stone floor as she got up. “Let me guess, princess: ‘go play with the big guy?’” 

“Well, Ed did bring him along for a playdate with you, so…” 

Bonnie had a reputation for being selfish and even somewhat uncaring towards others—which wasn’t entirely undeserved albeit widely blown out of proportion as far as she was concerned—but even she wouldn’t send her supposed lover to certain death with a smirk on her lips. 

Shego just sighed again. “For the record, I told you that coming here would be a bad idea.” 

“Oh, please. You don’t expect me to believe that you’re actually complaining about the evening turning into a brawl, do you?” 

Just as Bonnie was about to complain about the idiots in front of her getting sidetracked, again, she noticed a red blur in the corner of her eye. With a speed that seemed almost inhuman, the buffoon’s girlfriend had crossed the distance to one of the side entrances, moving right past the guards and low into the personal space of a very surprised thug. The heel of her palm connected with the underside of his chin as she jumped up, snapping his head back and sending him stumbling. Not giving him the chance to recover or fall—whichever it might have been—she spun around midair in one fluid motion and caught him in the temple with her shin. 

For a moment the warehouse had fallen silent. Even the whimpering and crying of some of the more fainthearted guests seemed to have been suspended by astonishment at the sudden and brutal takedown. The thug, who would have towered over his opponent by at least a head, had dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes, while the girl had landed in a crouch with all the grace of a professional dancer, punctuated by the high-cut skirt of her crimson dress flaring out on either side of her as the momentum had carried it on after she had come to a stop. 

And just like that, all hell broke loose. The remaining guards moved in on the side entrances, though, the guards on Yori’s side seemed to be making a point of staying out of her way as she moved from target to target with a ruthless efficiency that made Bonnie’s skin crawl. 

Ron, meanwhile, had joined the guards on his side, and, against all expectations, was putting up a decent fight. Sure, unlike his girlfriend, he was more than happy to make it a team effort and half of what he did looked more like he was just stumbling over his own two feet and succeeding by accident rather than design, but it worked, somehow. 

Neither of their fights managed to hold Bonnie’s attention for long though, given that the pink monstrosity was on the move and very much headed in her direction, or rather Shego’s, who was only a couple of feet from her. Just as Kim dodged out of the way of an arcing sweep of a giant club and broke into a dash towards the walking mullet, Bonnie decided that she had made enough of a point by standing her ground and allowed Josh to drag her to cover behind the counter along the back wall. 

Lingering behind had cut her off from the safety of the huddle by the stage as fights had broken out all around them, but there was no point in her catching a stray tree trunk to the face because she was standing out in the open like an idiot. 

Shego didn’t seem to share her concerns. She was leaning against their table with her arms crossed and her head cocked to the side. 

“You know, I’m really not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by this. Being scared enough of me to bring out the big guns sounds just about right, but what does it say when the big guns are an oversized pink fur ball that smells of armpit and toe cheese?” An exasperated sigh escaped her as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Seriously, why the hell is that thing pink? That doesn’t make any sense…” 

“Would you just stop complaining,” Kim said in between sending one guy stumbling back with a kick and flooring another with a quick one-two punch combo, “and get to work!” 

Through gritted teeth, Bonnie had to admit that she might have underestimated the girl she had considered her rival since they had barely been teenagers—even though the bumpkin was clearly so far beneath her that she could never be considered a true rival. She was seeing a side of Kim she had never seen in person before, and it was no less impressive than that of the buffoon’s girlfriend. 

What the bumpkin lacked in brutality—Bonnie will never forget the sound one burly arm had made as it was caught in a metal chain and snapped without hesitation by a petite girl in a stunning red dress—she made up for in gravity-defying maneuverability. Kim was bouncing back and forth between opponents, dodging every attack aimed her way and weaving around every guy trying to grab her, with playful ease as she landed blow after blow. And where Yori’s face was an unreadable neutral mask, Kim was smiling—actually smiling—as half a dozen dirty thugs tried to bash her head in with iron bars. It was an awe-inspiring, terrifying, and absolutely insane display. 

But even that paled in comparison to the knots the one fight that hadn’t even started yet was causing in her stomach. Taking on a couple of guys waving around tools was one thing—she had seen her own bodyguard fight three armed thugs with his bare hands only to come out on top without a scratch—but there was no way anybody could take on that ten-foot tree-trunk-swinging monstrosity barehanded and make it out alive. And once its opponent would be nothing more than a bloody smear on the floor, Bonnie would be far too exposed for comfort. 

Weighing the options in her head, she made a judgment call. She took her bodyguard’s sword and offered it to Shego in hopes of evening out the odds as much as possible. Rather than being thanked for her generosity and selflessness—she was disarming her personal protection in the middle of a chaotic fight in order to help out after all—the infuriating woman barely suppressed an amused snort as she looked at her like she had just made a complete fool of herself. 

“Yeah, no, _Bon-Bon,_ not my style. And you might actually need it if one of those morons”—she absentmindedly pointed at the nearest cluster of said morons—“slips by.” 

Bonnie wasn’t sure what she should be more furious about, the woman’s audacity or her stupidity, but the question was quickly forgotten as a giant club came down on the table they had shared not too long ago, turning it into little more than firewood and splinters. 

Shego had dodged out of the way at the last second, rolled to the side, and come to a halt in a crouch some way out of the giant’s reach. Contrary to the annoyance she seemed to have felt before, her eyes were shining with mischief now. “Well, someone’s got it bad for me!” she said with a laugh that settled into a wide grin. 

If Bonnie would still have had any doubts about the woman’s heritage, the sharp canines on display would have settled the question for good. 

Not that Shego’s opponent seemed to care much about such things. It readied its club for another swing, but before it could follow through, Shego dashed forward, slicing her claws over simian thighs. She tore out clumps of hair and left an array of bloody scratches behind, but the resulting screech seemed to be more one of surprise than of pain. 

The gorilla—which was the closest thing it looked like to Bonnie if one ignored the size or the color—swatted its club in her direction, which was easily dodged, leaving the two opponents once again eyeing each other from a good distance. 

Shego broke the standoff with a sigh as she waggled her bloody fingers. “This is going to be annoying, isn’t it?” she asked no one in particular before dashing in for another attack. 

The fight continued that way for a while. The pink gorilla was powerful and had a significant advantage in reach, but its weapon was as unwieldy as it was destructive, allowing for ample time to dodge. 

Shego, meanwhile, was faring far better than Bonnie had expected. She was moving in and out of range with ease, leaving more and more patches of bloody fur behind as she kept digging her claws into her opponent’s body. She had yet to find a location that seemed to do more than just annoy the thing, but from what Bonnie could tell, she was firmly in control of the fight. 

At the very least, she was keeping the pink monstrosity busy, buying the others enough time to wrap up their fights so they could join forces against it. And the others had indeed made steady progress. Unconscious bodies in drab overalls and terrible haircuts littered all three hot spots, though, the number of enemies still standing had barely changed. There must have been reinforcements hiding outside, and there was no way of telling if there might be more of them still waiting in the wings. 

That little detail put a serious damper on Bonnie’s hopes—especially since the small army of bodyguards was still not showing any signs of stepping in to help—but it wasn’t until something crashed into the wall next to her that they were shattered completely. 

Shelves filled with a rainbow of spirits and liquors came crashing down, the sound of breaking glass only overshadowed by the wild screeching of a giant pink gorilla that was beating its chest in victory. 

The sudden outburst seemed to have brought the entire warehouse to a standstill. With her eyes wide in horror, Bonnie stared at the tumble of wood and broken glass that had covered a lifeless body wearing a green dress she had come to know all too well. 

The laughter and cheers of victory surrounding her failed to register on Bonnie’s mind. So did the fact that none of the woman’s so-called friends—not even her girlfriend—were crying out for her or rushing to her side. No, Bonnie was too busy beating herself up over thinking that they might actually stand a chance of winning this fight and making it out alive. And how could she not have after she had watched a bunch of teenagers rush into a life-and-death struggle like they were playing games? 

“You should have taken the sword, you moron!” she yelled, not knowing how else to react in the situation but to lash out. 

Bonnie had expected all kinds of reactions to her outburst, from all kinds of people, but an annoyed groan from the women who had just been launched into a wall by a club the size of a tree had been very, very low on her list of possible scenarios. 

The pile of debris started to shift as Shego slowly pushed herself up onto unsteady legs. The pesky spike of hope and relief that had risen inside of Bonnie at the sight was short-lived however. The woman was drenched in an unidentifiable cocktail of liquid party supplies which were slowly merging with red stains from a multitude of cuts she had suffered in the crash. Her hair was a mess doted with splinters and shards of glass, and a large stake of wood was lodged deep in her shoulder. Every single breath seemed to cause her great pain. 

She might have survived miraculously, but she had lost the fight just the same. 

Shego waddled toward what was left of the counter she had crashed through in a few pained steps and carefully leaned against it before she laughed, which clearly had not been the smart thing to do for someone in her situation. She took a very deliberate breath before she addressed Bonnie with a smirk, “you really need to let that one go. I told you, I don’t do pointy sticks.” 

When Bonnie, flabbergasted by the new level of insanity she was faced with, did not respond, Shego turned to Kim. “So, yeah, this is fun! Not tedious at all, or anything. And it’s not a real party unless you leave smelling like a distillery, right?” 

Kim shook her head. “You had me worried there for a second.” 

“Oh, please,” Shego said with fake bravado, “that barely tickled.” She winced again as she touched her side, which was starting to show a large bruise through the tears in her dress. “Okay, fine. That fucking hurt. I feel like I was run over by one of your dad’s contraptions.” 

“Dude, seriously, that was hardcore!” Motor Ed piped in with a surprising level of admiration in his voice. “Pinkie’s got enough muscle to stand in for the metal compactor at the junkyard, and you just—” 

“Wait, wait, wait. Hold it right there,” Shego said. “You named your giant pink pet gorilla Pinkie?” 

“Duh, he’s pink. Seriously.” 

Shego rubbed her temples with a groan. “Makes sense coming from you, I suppose.” 

Motor Ed slapped one of his guys on the arm. “Told you it was a good name, dude.” 

“Yeah, yeah, great name. Whatever,” Kim said, keeping her focus on Shego. “How are you feeling, really?” 

“About as good as I look, which is still pretty damn hot,” Shego said, trying to strike an awkward pose that left her wincing in pain and Kim rolling her eyes at her. 

“Good to know that you’re as humble as ever. You’ll live, then.” 

“No offense, pumpkin, but you aren’t exactly the Possible I’d go to for medical advice unless it comes with a skimpy nurse uniform. Though, I suppose Mrs. Dr. Possible could still pull that one off too.” 

“Shego! That is so not a topic we’re going to discuss in public, or ever! Ew!” 

“Yo, Red!” 

“No!” Kim spun around and glared ad Motor Ed. “I don’t want to hear it from you either!” 

“Whoa, seriously, dude.” He raised his hands in defense. “You’re old dudess could be a total whale. I can’t have an accessory that’s a total whale.” He stroked his mustache in contemplation. “It could work for Pinkie though.” 

“I… What are you even talking about?” 

“Dude, I don’t know. You brought up your whale of a mother. I just wanted to make a suggestion.” 

Kim took a deep breath. “Okay, whatever. I know I’m going to regret this, but shoot.” 

“So, me and the dudes, we’ve been talking, like, seriously. The green babe—” 

“Oi!” 

“—is, like, totaled—” 

“Oi, again! What the hell?” 

“—and Pinkie needs, like, a dozen walks a day or he won’t go to sleep. So, you know, we’ve been thinking, you could just play with him for a while, and once he’s done with you, we’ll take you along to get my totally awesome new ride!” 

“Let me get this straight,” Kim said, furrowing her brows. “You’re going to let my friends and me team up against your pet, and you’re promising to leave everyone else alone in return?” 

“Word, dude.” 

“And what if we win?” 

“Seriously? Pinkie trashed the green babe—” 

“Okay, that’s it, mullet for brains!” Shego growled. “If you call me that one more time I’m going to show your flunkies what it means to get fucking totaled with your ass!” 

“Not now, Shego!” Kim ordered. 

“I don’t give—” 

“Just a second, please?” Kim asked as more of a request than an order, which seemed to have done the trick. “And you”—her eyes had never left the walking mullet—“if you’re so sure that you’re going to win, what’s the harm in turning this into a proper bet?” 

Motor Ed and his thugs huddled together for a few frantic whispers before they broke apart again. “If you win, which is totally not gonna happen, like, seriously, we’ll leave without my new ride.” 

“Not good enough.” 

Wait, what? What the hell could be wrong with a deal that would let anyone but the bumpkin and her friends off the hook no matter how it would go? It wasn’t like anyone would care if a bunch of greasy thugs went out into the night to steal a car or something anyway. 

“If your pet loses, you’ll give yourself up, hand over everything you’ve stolen, and plead guilty to the damage you’ve caused tonight.” 

“Dude, that’s a terrible deal. Seriously.” 

“Doesn’t matter how bad it is, does it?” Kim asked. “With Pinkie in your corner, you can’t lose, like, seriously.” 

“Seriously, dude! Deal!” 

Bonnie breathed a sigh of relief only for it get stuck in her throat when she heard the next words coming out of the bumpkin’s mouth. 

“There is just one teensy-tiny snag.” 

“No takesies-backsies, dude.” 

“Yeah, no, I get it. Totally. It’s just that given the circumstances, it isn’t exactly my deal to make anymore.” Kim looked over her shoulder. “Shego?” 

Bonnie, once again, found herself slack-jawed as her hopes and expectations were thrown for another loop in the insane roller coaster she had been trapped in for what was starting to feel like hours. 

“Damn right, it isn’t!” Shego pushed herself off the counter, making a point of not yielding to the pain she must be feeling. “Here’s a better offer:”—she ripped the piece of wood lodged in her shoulder out without flinching and held it up in front of her—“you sit back, relax, and enjoy the show as _I_ tear your stupid pet from limb to limb. And when I’m done”—she dropped the bloody stake on the floor—“you’re going to do whatever the hell Kimmie tells you to do.” 

The walking mullet and his gang looked at her like she had gone, well, mad—which she most likely had, or rather always had been given whom she was hanging out with—before they burst out laughing. And who wouldn’t, given the circumstances? Even the gorilla seemed to have joined in, though, Bonnie wasn’t sure if the thing actually understood what was being said or had just been picking up on the general mood all this time. 

“Yeah, uh-huh. I’m not joking, _dudes._ ” 

“Seriously, dude? Pinkie almost killed you in one hit and you still want to fight him by yourself? Now that, that is seriously hardcore!” 

“Hardcore, right, whatever,” Shego said. “There is just one more thing. It’s no big, really, but with this being kind of a live-or-die moment, it would be nice to get a minute to say goodbye to my girl before we get this show on the road. Just in case, you know.” 

“You got a deal, green—dude!” 

Flabbergasted was a term Bonnie couldn’t remember ever having used to describe herself with before, and yet it seemed to be turning more and more into her natural state of existence that evening. Of course, had present Bonnie known what future Bonnie—of about five seconds—already knew, she would have downgraded her evaluation of herself to something like baffled in order to leave herself room to grow. 

“That being said”—Shego slumped back against the counter as all the exhaustion and pain had seemingly returned in an instant—“this isn’t working out.” 

It was that moment that future Bonnie—now present Bonnie—realized the mistake present Bonnie—now past Bonnie—had made by carelessly using a word as powerful as flabbergasted without having a dictionary at hand to research her options on how to move things to the next level. Should she survive, which had become a highly unlikely prospect, she would have to correct that personal shortcoming for future reference. 

“I noticed,” Kim said flatly. “Getting hit aside, you barely scratched Pinkie.” 

Shego groaned. “Can we not call that pink freak of nature by name? Any name. That just makes this situation so much more bizarre.” 

“I don’t know. When you’re facing a giant pink gorilla, does it really matter if it has a name?” 

“Depends.” 

“On?” 

“Are you going to try and make me feel bad about ripping its head off just because it has a name or are we going to file it away under murderous beast that got what was coming to it?” 

Kim sighed. “Given the circumstances, I suppose we can go with the latter. If you actually make it that far.” 

“Yeah, about that, pumpkin…” 

“I’m listening,” Kim said with an angelic smile. 

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” 

“Just a bit.” 

Shego rolled her eyes. “So, I might have to break a promise or two. You know, the whole not drawing too much attention deal. That might not exactly work out.” 

“Are you asking for permission?” 

“No… Kinda?” Shego said through gritted teeth. “Well, I suppose I did promise to play by your rules since this is your home and all, so yes. Maybe?” 

Kim broke out in a giggle. 

“Really, princess? My life is on the line here. That’s not funny.” 

“It kind of is,” Kim said through the last few giggles before she got herself under control. “Yes, your life is on the line and something as simple as saying, ‘please and thank you!’ is still like pulling teeth with you.” 

Shego crossed her arms over her chest, which caused Bonnie’s eyebrows to shoot up. The woman had done so without flinching or wincing or anything of the sort even though she had barely been able to breathe without whimpering in pain just a moment ago. 

“I’d rather die than use one of your stupid catchphrases.” 

“Aw, but I have it on good authority that you find them adorable.” 

“Uh-huh, yeah. Looks to me like that authority will change her mind very soon.” 

“Oh, come on. There’s no need to do something we’ll both regret.” 

“I’m starting to regret a lot of things lately.” 

Kim sighed. “Fine. Just for the record”—she pointed at the carnage, the unconscious bodies, and the giant pink gorilla in the room—“we’ve crashed right through not drawing attention to ourselves and into wearing blinking neon signs on our heads. So just say please, and we’ll deal with Mom later.” 

Shego took a deep breath. “ _Please._ ” 

“And thank you! See, that wasn’t so hard.” 

“You’re pushing your luck, princess.” 

“If you say so.” Kim looked at Shego with concern. “Joking aside, that hit you took wasn’t exactly gentle. Are you sure you are up for this?” 

Shego got up from the counter and stretched her neck, twisted her torso, and even circled the arm on her bad shoulder back and forth a couple of times, all without showing any signs of pain. 

“Whoa, dude. Aren’t you supposed to be, like, totally down for the count?” 

“That was so five minutes ago,” Shego said dismissively as she went through a few more stretches. 

It was then that Bonnie noticed the lack of bleeding around the wound in her shoulder, the absence of the many cuts she had sustained when she had crashed into the shelves, and hadn’t those bruises appeared faster than they should have and lost a lot of their color again already? 

“I’m afraid you miscalculated, Ed,” Kim said. “You might have had a fair shot at winning our bet until you gave Shego a time-out. No takesies-backsies though, remember?” Her innocent yet devious smile made him gulp nervously. 

“Oh, screw this,” Shego said as she kicked off her shoes. “It will do, and I’m getting tired of dealing with their crap anyway.” 

Kim, Bonnie had just noticed, had carefully maneuvered herself behind enemy lines during their “goodbyes” and was now leaning against the wall next to the main entrance, effectively cutting off the last escape route the walking mullet and his thugs would have had. 

“Just remember that seminar Betty has made mandatory for any new guild member because of you. You know, the one about collateral damage and why open flames and cities aren’t besties.” 

Shego rolled her eyes as she started walking toward an apprehensive looking gorilla. “You do realize that the old cyclops only tells that story to get on my nerves, right? I’ve never ‘accidentally’ turned anything to ashes.” 

Pinkie wasn’t the only one who had noticed the change in Shego. Bonnie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but there was something familiar about the woman that had been missing before. 

“Now butt out, cupcake. I have a pink throw rug to skin.” 

The way her eyes remained focused, unblinking, on her opponent even while talking to Kim, the way she bared her canines in a savage grin, the way she flexed her fingers into vicious claws, it sent a shiver of fear down Bonnie’s spine not unlike the one she had felt when Shego had first homed in on Josh. 

With every slow and deliberate step the picture became clearer. Closing the distance between them wasn’t just a means to an end, it was a demonstration of power—of dominance—that left no doubt as to their roles in what was about to come. It didn’t matter that the pink gorilla towered over her by a good four feet or that his muscular thighs were thicker than Shego’s torso, she was no longer looking for fight, she was stalking her prey. 

And just like that, she dashed forward with lightning speed, one claw raised, ready to strike. Bonnie had waited for the moment with bated breath, and yet, she had almost missed it. A bright green light had sprung forth out of nowhere, forcing her to blink right as Shego was about to bring her attack to bear. Her eyes opened to a shower of debris erupting from a crater in the stone floor where, just a moment ago, the gorilla’s foot had been standing. It must have moved it out of the way in the nick of time to avoid one claw wrapped in an eerie green mist, but not far enough to avoid the second. 

The attack was an almost perfect mirror to the very first strike Shego had delivered. Deep, singed gashes crossed the superficial scratches she had left behind then, and the air filled with the foul stench of burnt hair and flesh. 

The gorilla cried out in pain and flailed its massive club wildly, which forced Shego to move out of its reach with an effortless flip backward. 

While her prey was stumbling back in pain, Shego merely stood her ground, one burning hand casually resting on her hip, the other, which had proven that thick skin and fur were no longer an adequate defense, raised and waggling its fingers mockingly. “That’s more like it,” she said without ever losing the predatory grin on her face. 

“Just don’t overdo it,” somebody—Bonnie was too focused on the terrifying yet intriguing sight in front of her to care who—said. 

Shego turned her head toward the voice and made a show of rolling her eyes at the speaker before turning back to a spooked pink giant. “So, that’s it? You’re giving up already?” she asked, clearly annoyed by the prospect. “Come on! Get your ass back in the game and make this fun while it lasts!” 

Rather than taking the bait, the gorilla took another half-step back. It was the wrong thing to do if the annoyed twitch in Shego’s eye was anything to go by. 

“You do realize,” she said as she brought one arm out to her side, holding up her open palm, “that you have to run a lot farther away from me to be safe, right?” 

The misty flames surrounding her hand flared up, bathing not only Shego but most of the dim-lit warehouse in an eerie green. She held her pose for a little while, but when the only reaction she got was a raised arm in defense, her patience seemed to have been exhausted. With a casual backhand, she lobbed a bolt of liquid green at the gorilla’s face, who barely managed to block it. 

Rather than just scorching the impact site, it bent and warped around the arm until the force became too much and it popped like a water balloon, sending tendrils of burning mist all over the gorilla’s upper body. The resulting screams of pain where bloodcurdling, while the added intensity of foul stench in the air made it almost impossible not to give in to nausea. 

“See? Told you that that wasn’t a good spot for you to stand in. But no, Mr. Ape just had to know better…” 

When Bonnie had first come face to face with the pink monstrosity, she had been terrified of it, but the brutal role reversal playing out in front of her almost made her pity it. Almost. She just wasn’t that much into pets. 

“Seriously, pink dude? Man up and squash her like a bug!” 

Hearing its owner’s voice seemed to have calmed the gorilla down, but its apprehension towards Shego remained visible plain as day. 

“Dude, I totally rhymed there, and I wasn’t even trying. I’m, like, seriously awesome! And so is my pet, dude! 

That seemed to have done the trick for some inexplicable reason. The gorilla let out a angry growl and started pounding its singed chest despite the pain it must have been causing with every hit. 

Once its tantrum had ebbed off, it launched itself forward and landed right on the spot where Shego had been standing, but the woman had easily dodged the frenzied attack. Safely out of range of a flailing club that was sending broken furniture all over the warehouse, she sent a small bolt of green at the gorilla’s rear with a chuckle, riling it up even more. 

The infantile provocation started a brutal game of cat and mouse between them. Soon enough, there was barely a corner of the warehouse left that wasn’t covered in broken furniture, just as there was barely an inch of skin left on the gorilla that wasn’t covered in burns and gashes. 

The wounds had started to take a toll on the pink monstrosity, especially after Shego had stepped up her game and started aiming for its deeper, squishier bits, likely destroying any number of vital organs in the process. 

All signs pointed toward the fight winding down and coming to a close with a clear-cut result until a pile of random rubble interfered. The gorilla had lunged once again, and Shego had moved to dodge the hulking brute with the same death-defying grace she had used to dance circles around him for many iterations of their game. Only this time, the sinuous wave of her flowing skirt broke sharply as her footing gave way, almost toppling her over in the process. 

Bonnie gasped and instinctively covered her eyes as she saw the massive club coming down in a powerful overhead swing on the stumbling woman. She was quite literally about to be turned into a bloody smear on the ground, but when the shock and the outcry Bonnie had expected to follow didn’t come, she peeked through her fingers only to find a scene that highlighted, more so than anything else she had seen that evening, the sheer difference between the two opponents. 

Shego was crouching low with one arm stretched out for balance and the other—the one attached to her bad shoulder no less—having blocked the giant club inches before connecting with her head. The tips of her fingers had buried deep into rough wood and were holding on to it with an iron grip, denying any attempt at retrieving the weapon despite her precarious stance and the signs of pain on her face. 

Frustrated, the gorilla tried to grab Shego with its free hand, which gave her an opening to end their standoff. With a sudden yank, she ripped the club from its grasp and used the momentum to bring her free hand forward. The gorilla had been caught by surprise and had lost its balance, sending it stumbling toward Shego and right into the flaring mass of liquid green that she was driving at its torso. 

The impact sent her flames out in a cloud big enough to engulf the both of them only to be deformed and dispersed by a massive smoldering body that was sent crashing into a nearby wall where it slumped down to the ground, unmoving, amid pieces of mortar and bricks that had been dislodged by the impact. 

People were oohing and aahing, some in fear, some in astonishment, most probably in both. Somewhere in the background, Bonnie had noticed the walking mullet and some of his henchmen rushing toward the fallen gorilla, but she had long since stopped caring about any of them. Whatever backstory they might have had with the bumpkin and her friends, to Bonnie they were nothing but two-bit thugs who, as it had turned out, had never posed any real threat to begin with despite the pink surprise they had brought along. 

“Okay, that was not a good idea,” Shego said, wincing in pain again as she moved the arm still holding on to the fallen giant’s weapon. 

Unlike the gorilla, who, at this point, was more charred black and hairless than pink and fluffy, the strange green flames hadn’t touched her at all. 

“You think?” Kim asked, clearly agitated. “Which part of, ‘don’t overdo it,’ spelled, ‘get carried away and almost get yourself killed,’ to you?” 

“Almost?” Shego tossed the giant club in the air with a flip and caught it with her good hand like it weighed nothing. “Please, the thing didn’t get _that_ close.” 

“Close enough!” 

At Kim’s sudden outburst, Shego froze like a deer caught in the headlights. 

Their eyes met, one pair in anger, the other in apprehension. Kim was the first to break off, looking more defeated than angry. “I know it was my fault that you got hurt in the first place—I should never have sent you into that fight with both your arms tied behind your back—but it happened. And I’m sorry about that. But you should have known better than to put life at risk for no good reason by playing games when you’re already injured!” 

“I—” Shego let her shoulders slump with a sigh and focused on the beaten-up club in her hand. “I guess I did get carried away a bit.” 

“There is no guessing about it! You were putting on a show like you were trying out as a matador or something!” 

Shego grumbled through gritted teeth. “Fine. I got carried away.” Anger was quickly replaced with resignation. “I’m sorry about that, okay?” 

Kim nodded and sought eye contact again, which Shego granted without hesitation. “I know you are, but you’re also used to sailing close to the wind just for the fun of it and tend to forget that, like it or not, there are people out there who care about you. People who would miss you if you were gone.” 

“I know you would, but come on. I’ve dealt with far worse and come out on top even just since I’ve met you, let alone before that. An oversized pink pet is nothing in comparison.” 

“This wasn’t nothing! I know you. I know exactly how tough you are, but you are not indestructible.” Kim took a deep breath before continuing in a mumble, “it scares me when you act like you are.” 

Bonnie watched in astonishment as the meek admission managed to do what a giant raging monster had failed to do: it brought down the fiery women in a bout of guilt. 

It was a disgrace! What did she see in the bumpkin anyway to react that strongly to her moods and wishes and all that nonsense? 

“Kimmie, I never—” 

Whatever pathetic direction their discussion was headed, it was thankfully interrupted by a pained grunt. All the groveling weakness Shego had displayed facing Kim disappeared in the blink of an eye as the fire Bonnie had come to admire about the woman returned. 

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me!” Shego turned and pointed the giant club at her stirring opponent. “Can’t you see that Kimmie and I are having a moment here that does not include charbroiled pink morons?” 

He didn’t seem to, but then again, given the heavy burns all over his face, he was likely to be impaired in the visual department. Also, he was a gorilla! 

“Stay down and play dead, or I will give you a hand with that.” 

Despite the menace in Shego’s voice, despite the walking mullet’s attempts to talk his pet down, the gorilla scrambled to his feet and took one unsteady step forward that almost sent it reeling back down to the floor. Unfortunately, it caught itself and shambled on. 

“Suit yourself,” Shego said before she casually tossed the giant club aside. It almost took some thug’s head off and left a big dent in one of the cars, but it wasn’t like anybody cared. 

For the first time since the evening’s ordeal had started, Bonnie didn’t just feel uncomfortable or slightly afraid of the women but genuinely terrified. There were no more signs of playfulness in her body language nor was there the faintest hint of mercy or reluctance. Shego’s talk with Kim had radically shifted the tone of the fight and left no doubt in Bonnie’s mind that there had been two monsters in the room that night and that the one who looked the part at a glance paled in comparison to the one who didn’t. 

The seconds seemed to stretch into hours as the gorilla slowly shambled toward Shego on unsteady legs. Bonnie, much like everyone else present, watched with bated breath as he reached out with one of his giant hands, trying to grab his unfazed opponent long before he was anywhere near close enough to do so. 

Suddenly, with an explosion of green, time snapped back to normal like a wound-up rubber band. Shego dashed forward, dove under the outstretched arm, and went straight for the unguarded abdomen. 

A flaming fist connected in a wide hook with one of the deep wounds she had left there before to devastating effect. Bonnie’s stomach churned as bits of charred flesh still covered in burning green were splattered all over the back wall and the unfortunate thugs that had still been gathered there. 

An ear-shattering howl escaped the disemboweled gorilla, adding further to the horror of the scene. As did the complete lack of concern on Shego’s face as she casually sidestepped the tumbling giant like he was nothing but a random passerby on the street and circled his prone form in a predatory gate. 

The exchange had ripped the audience out of its stupor, but Bonnie couldn’t be bothered to pay them any attention. She knew that Shego wasn’t done yet. The woman had made a promise to her opponent, and Bonnie had no doubt in her mind that she would see it through to the end. 

When Shego reached her destination, she looked at the downed gorilla with all the compassion one would spare a cockroach tipped over on its back. A comparison, Bonnie realized as she watched in morbid fascination, that was disturbingly close to the reality of the situation when Shego raised her leg high and brought it down with enough force to shatter the paving stones covering the warehouse floor and bury the gorilla’s head face first in the ground. 

A disgusting crunching sound and splatters of blood and other stuff Bonnie would rather not think about left little doubt about the result. The body on the ground had fallen silent with only the occasional muscle spasm hinting towards the life it had once housed. 

Shego showed it no regard as she stepped over it. Whatever disgusting gunk had stuck to her and her dress was dissolving into green mist as if her body itself had decided that the fight had come to a close and it was time to rid itself of its lingering aftereffects. 

She didn’t pay the remaining thugs any mind either. There was no need to. Most of them seemed downright terrified of her and had surrendered unconditionally, while the few that had tried to run had been taken down by the guards and the remainder of the bumpkin brigade who had still been covering the exits. 

No, Shego’s attention had returned to Kim as if she hadn’t just destroyed a giant pink monster and scarred an entire warehouse full of teenagers for life in the process. She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side with a smug grin. “Well then, princess, explain to me again how I was wrong about this little outing being a terrible idea…” 

###  Author’s Note 

I know, it’s a bit of an abrupt ending, but it does bring things full circle with Shego reviving the argument the story had started with. 

That being said, I’m not exactly happy with the second half of this story, and I freely admit that I didn’t show it as much editing love as I should have. It has a lot of technical problems, it is unfocused, scattered even, and it doesn’t make much sense at times. Lots of standing around and doing nothing while a select few people have their private little moments or the odd plot point plays out that really wouldn’t work if people acted more appropriately. 

Most of the problems boil down to the number of active players on the field. I tend not to do well as a writer when I’m dealing with more than two or three characters at a time. It’s closer to nine (plus flunkies) here, which shows. Some characters, like Ron, Yori, and Josh, just drop off entirely at some point, and even Bonnie, our point of view character for the second half, all but disappears on us at times. 

Bonnie is another issue I could have handled better. Writing Bonnie and her attitude from the outside is quite fun, but it’s a lot more difficult from the inside. I don’t feel like I’ve managed to preserve her character’s voice all that well in the transition. 

I probably shouldn’t have stuck with her throughout the entire second half either. She was a good “blank slate” character to avoid some spoilers about Shego’s nature and relationship with Kim I wasn’t willing to just hand out as an afterthought in this story, but she was too passive a player to really carry the point of view through that long a stretch of the story. (I tried to make up for it by giving her a lot of running commentary, but that’s really not a good way to do things either…) 

There are a few other issues, like my guideline for Motor Ed’s dialogue being made up of four words (seriously, dude, Red, and bro-speak), my struggle with monkey pronouns (I edited back and forth between ‘it’ and ‘he’, neither of which sounded right to me), the fact that I had the brainiacs in the group perpetuate the layman’s rather than the professional’s definition of what makes a monkey and an ape, or my continued ineptitude when it comes to writing action scenes, but despite all that, I believe it turned out decent enough in the end (for a showcase story at least). 

With some exceptions, it does resemble the tone of the show—which tends to be lighthearted and doesn’t take itself all too seriously—while we also get to see the slightly darker and more dangerous touch of this interpretation through Yori and Shego. 

That is not to say that I’m trying to create a dark fantasy setting full of death and gore. Quite the opposite, in fact. Most of what I do as a writer is more in line with the first half of the story than the second. There will be plenty of action and adventure, but unless I completely veer off course the fun and the lighthearted should always win out. 

That is a general warning to all my writing, really. A few select exceptions aside, I do no like or enjoy drama or heavy themes in my escapism, which manifests in mostly predictable ways. 

For example, when I dabble in romance, I do not do love-triangles or the third act breakup drama that seems almost omnipresent in the genre but focus on the everyday aspects of the characters’ relationships and how they help them deal with whatever else life is throwing at them; when I dabble in action, I tend to work with characters that are above the curve of their opposition rather than having them constantly struggle to survive against all odds; and so on. 

In a nutshell: I do love my rose-colored glasses, and I have no intention of taking them off anytime soon. 

Now, I suppose I could talk a bit about the setting, the story arcs, and the characters, but there is already a lot of it in the story itself in the form of exposition, so I’ll try to keep it brief. 

While KPFantasy was originally intended as a medieval fantasy setting in the western style, I have since shifted its focus quite a bit. Technology over the world ranges anywhere from the medieval age to about the First World War (or beyond) with elements of fantasy and, to a lesser degree, steampunk or even science fiction mixed in. (There are airships and the likes, and James needs to build some sort of a rocket ship eventually, doesn’t he? I mean, he is basically the Cid of this universe…) 

The region of the Kingdom of Go (which includes Middleton) stands somewhere near the upper end of that spectrum. Imagine something along the lines of the illegitimate love-child of _Downton Abbey_ and _Final Fantasy,_ if you will. 

But that’s only a small part of the world. It might not be entirely realistic, but I’ve deliberated cast a very wide net on cultures, technology levels, the influence of magic, etc. in order to keep things fresh between story arcs. 

Examples include some tomb raiding on a tropical island, a monster extermination in a slightly dystopian industrial nation, a visit to a feudal oriental nation that houses Yamanouchi, a caravan trek through middle-eastern region heavily steeped in magic, and many other rather predictable story tropes of this genre but also quite mundane things like a vacation in a remote mountain village or helping a stuck-up aristocrat looking for some family treasure that went missing during spring clean in his mansion. 

The story arcs themselves will likely follow a mostly episodic structure, much like the show. There will be reoccurring locations, side characters, and adversaries, but there will be no ultimate quest looming over the entire series. 

Instead, any persistent development will revolve around the characters and their relationships with each other, which I find far more interesting and rewarding to work with than trying to craft some monumental opus of a story. 

Now, as always, please let me know what you think, and feel free to drop by on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sittschowrites) for news and further information on this and other stories in the works. 

That is all. 


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